cashewlater | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ cyno doesn't know why he's so nervous.

maybe because he's never done this before. maybe because he's never had feelings for anyone before, not even a single stirring. he doesn't know what he's doing. plenty of people dated in high school, and people certainly showed interest in him, but cyno wanted nothing to do with it, too focused on his work. college has come, and it had been all the same - sex and dating seem to go hand in hand with college students, but once again, cyno has shown no interest.

not until tighnari.

they've been roommates for three years now, almost four. they had been paired randomly during their freshman year, but their friendship blossomed so quickly and so easily that they decided to continue on as roommates in the coming years, and now at the precipice of their senior year, they've moved to a small condo on campus, far more comfortable than the single room they had shared before, with space enough for them both to have their own rooms, a sprawling common area, and a small kitchen. it's cozy. they work together well, their personalities complement one another, and they're both respectful of one another's space.

if only cyno weren't wrestling with feelings that threaten to tear it all down. he's loved tighnari for years now, since somewhere near the end of their freshman year into sophomore; cyno had realized it just as they were saying goodbye for the summer. they hugged, and tighnari had felt so good in his arms, smelled sweet, and cyno had realized, in an instant, that he did not want to let him go, that he didn't want to go months without seeing him again. he'd thought the summer break might kill those feelings, but when autumn came and tighnari greeted him again with his warm smile, cyno had felt his heart tighten up all over again. he's tried to tamp it back, to allow their relationship to be whatever it wanted to be, but as the years passed his longing only grew. they're close enough friends now that.. that it's all right to ask, isn't it? it won't ruin everything, will it? tighnari will let him down easily, and life will go on. right. he has to believe that.

cyno is sprawled comfortably on the sofa in his jackal-eared hoodie when the door clicks open, and his heart leaps into his throat. swallowing thickly, cyno glances over his shoulder to find tighnari strolling in, still wrapped in his scarf, carrying his books and laptop, his face flushed from the brisk early-winter weather. the book cyno had been reading slips out of his lap. clearing his throat, he snatches it up again. ]

Welcome home.

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[ in the moments it takes tighnari to unwind his gift, cyno's heart is thrashing like an injured fledgling. it had seemed so perfect when he found it, but what if it's too much? jewelry is something of an intimate gift, isn't it? the sort of gift you give to a partner, not a friend, but the moment he laid eyes on it he knew tighnari had to have it, he knew exactly how it would look against his lovely dark fur. in this moment, however, he's doubting himself, and the boldness of his choice. his gaze is trained tightly on tighnari's face as he opens the bag and spills the cuff out into his palm.

like morning beneath the first rays of sunlight, cyno's anxiety soon evaporates. he exhales in a great puff of fog, and he breathes a soft, nervous laugh.

he likes it. ]

It's good?

[ it's good. tighnari thinks it's beautiful. ]

Oh - yeah.

[ carefully, cyno lifts the cuff from tighnari's palm and begins to gently weave it into place. he's wearing leather gloves, so he unfortunately can't feel the luxurious satin of tighnari's fur, but he can feel the warmth of his ear as cyno slots it delicately into place. the gold gleams handsomely against the deep, velvet green of tighnari's fur. ]

It looks..

[ cyno's hand hovers behind tighnari's ear for a moment, before it lowers, though not away - instead, his fingers weave into tighnari's hair, his leather-clad thumb brushing the crest of his best friend's cheek. cyno swallows thickly, his heart thundering, his pulse roaring, his free hand reaching, seeking one of tighnari's, squeezing. there's nothing to be afraid of. if tighnari doesn't return his feelings, he'll let cyno down gently, and life will go on. there's nothing to be afraid of. there's nothing to be afraid of. his eyes flick down to tighnari's flushed face, meeting his gaze. ]

.. beautiful.

[ No, there is nothing platonic about this at all.

The realization sinks deep into Tighnari's stomach as soon as he asks the question of Cyno to put the ear wrap on for him, but Cyno's reaction only solidifies it further. His touch is delicate, careful, and exact, and then it does not draw away, and that feels right. His hand stays in Tighnari's hair and against his skin, and when he reaches for Tighnari's hand, Tighnari's heart slams against his rib cage like a caged butterfly. It's not often he is really bashful, never really uncertain of himself at all, but this moment has his nerves fluttering, and his skin flushed warm.

After all, how could it not? This is a moment he has been waiting for for years, if he's honest with himself, and now that they have reached it, he can't help but chastise himself for not chasing it down sooner, for letting feelings linger when they could have progressed. He just hadn't wanted to jeopardize what they had -

But now that thought seems foolish, as Cyno utters that single word, sending a shiver right down Tighnari's spine.

His smile broadens, as he turns his face against Cyno's palm, nuzzling into its warmth. ]

Now, you know flattery won't get you far with me.

[ There's a teasing edge to his nerves, but just so Cyno doesn't misunderstand him, Tighnari lifts his free hand to the front of his chest, smoothing upward and snagging in the fabric of his scarf. ]

Kiss me.

[ kiss me.

those words bounce around in his mind like marbles, and despite the intimacy of the moment, cyno still feels stunned. that it's all working out.. but of course it is. they've been close for so long, sharing longing glances, passing gentle touches, it's all been building to this. when tighnari nuzzles into his palm, cyno's blood sings, his face warming, his thin pupils dilating as he tries desperately to set this moment to memory, to forever be able to recall the sight of tighnari pressing so sweetly against his palm.

no more hesitation.

using the hand at tighnari's jaw to pull him in, cyno leans closer, nudges their noses together, and kisses him. warmth erupts in his breast, overflowing, and cyno closes his eyes. it feels soft, and so warm. this close he's able to catch tighnari's familiar scent, he smells like dusty books and musky fur and the sweet, floral scent of the oil he uses on his tail and ears. cyno melts for him, all of his edges softening, yielding. the moment is perfect, lit by the almost preternatural glow of the climbing mushrooms, the moon heavy overhead, the air just chilly enough to make him want to huddle close.

cyno has kissed people before, but only a scant few, mostly at parties tighnari invited him to, which was a rare occasion as it stood; neither of them are too fond of parties. all of those kisses were quick, pointless, meaningless, none of them felt like this, none of them made him want more, however chaste the press of their lips might be. ]

'Nari, I..

[ he whispers, soft against tighnari's lips, unwilling to break away entirely. ]

Do you want to.. would you be my -

[ He knew what he was doing when he asked Cyno to kiss him, and he knew he wouldn't be disappointed, and for all his confidence, his nerves are stuttering too, flushing cold and hot as Cyno draws near and closes the distance between them completely. His lips are warm, soft, giving just enough - not asking too much or too little. Surrounded by the light of the mushrooms in the grove, it's the best, most romantic first kiss Tighnari could hope for. It's almost a shame to close his eyes to miss seeing it.

When Cyno draws back just enough to speak, Tighnari huffs a laugh, winding his arms around Cyno's shoulders, holding him near, relishing the chance to do so without it seeming misplaced. Why hadn't they done this long ago?

But...no, this moment is perfect. He can't even be upset that they took their time arriving at it. ]

Be your boyfriend? Of course I will, you sweet fool.

[ And then it's his turn to lean in to kiss Cyno, with a bit more pressure this time, a smile formed over his slightly parted lips. He lingers long enough to gauge Cyno's reaction, and to pour his heart into it, to convey what he's feeling through action instead of words. Gods, but his heart is so full. He has waited so long for this.

Even when his kiss breaks away, he remains near, his brow pressed to Cyno's. ]

Much as I'd love to stay here forever, we should head back. I have a bottle of wine I'd like to break out to celebrate properly.

[ tighnari helpfully fills in the rest of cyno's sentence for him, sparing the need to say the words, and cyno's heart leaps straight up into his throat. he breaks into a broad, frankly goofy grin, an expression that tighnari has likely never seen on him before, but he can't help but feel giddy and warm. he's wanted this for a long time, and he thinks it was worth the wait for this moment, this warmth; cyno isn't a romantic, really, but this.. could change his mind, a little.

of course i will, you sweet fool.

and then tighnari is kissing him again, and this time it is a little more passionate, a little less chaste. it lingers on, and cyno parts his lips against it, breathing tighnari's air, his scent, a low rumble rolling in his throat, pleased and content. cyno could stay here like this all night, holding to him, kissing him.

except.. yeah, tighnari's ears are probably getting cold.

though he chases tighnari's mouth for more soft kisses, he hums his agreement, his hand in tighnari's grasping a little more tightly, their fingers woven together. ]

Yeah. All right.

[ wine sounds good. and it's the weekend - they'll both still be busy tomorrow, they're too serious about their work and educations to waste a saturday - but at least there are no classes. it takes a great deal of self-control for him to pull away, but cyno draws back at last, tugging at tighnari's hand to lead him back to the path. though it dawns on him all but immediately that.. ]

.. oh. Um. Your parents - are they going to be.. okay with this?

[ do they like him enough?? are they going to be weird about it because he isn't valuka shuna?? ]

[ The warmth and closeness of Cyno's body is missed as soon as it's gone, and Tighnari already aches to step closer to him again, but fortunately Cyno takes his hand, and that will have to do for now. Once they get back home, they can touch and kiss and snuggle all they want. Which given how long they've been teasing at this thing...will likely be quite a lot.

His cheeks and ears feel warm. Gods, when did he last feel so...young? So sweet and full?

With a soft chuckle, Tighnari tosses Cyno a look that can only be described as "bruh", but squeezes his fingers in his own for good measure. ]

Are you kidding? I think every time you come to visit my mom hopes you'll stay forever.

[ Who cares if he isn't Valuka Shuna? And even if his parents did worry about that kind of thing, Tighnari wouldn't. He's hardly one to stand on foolish tradition when his heart leads him a different direction.

And it has led him straight to Cyno, time and time again, in so many ways now. ]

Be prepared for an abundance of hugging when we travel home for the holiday.

[ He can't help a warmed smile when he says that. ]

[ tighnari isn't the only one missing that closeness and heat - now that cyno's tasted it, he wants nothing more than to pull tighnari back into his arms again, but.. he's patient. he's waited this long, after all, he can wait the twenty or so minutes it takes them to return to their dorm. and then.. then, they can kiss all they want, and cyno can feel the shape of him in his arms again. his heart flutters, joyous and light.

tighnari's answer releases some of the tension in his chest, however, and cyno exhales in a puff. ]

I'm glad she likes me. Most people don't.

[ he says it matter-of-factly, because, well, it's true. people are intimidated by cyno, by his stoic disposition and his deep intensity - it's simple fact. he's strange, and people fear strangeness. he's strong, and people fear strength. it's natural. it doesn't bother him. when he was younger, it had been a bit lonely, but now.. well, he has tighnari, and that's all he needs. he's happy. cyno squeezes tighnari's hand; even through their gloves, it feels warm and perfect in his own. ]

Though I suppose.. I'll need to go gift shopping for your parents, before we leave.

[ he hadn't known he'd need to, before this point.. oops. but it's fine. he knows tighnari's parents well enough to figure something out quickly enough.

just the idea fills him with sweet, nervous energy. going home for the holidays with tighnari sounds like a dream. being welcomed by his family.. as his partner? there's no gift he could want more. ]

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