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[ cyno doesn't know why he's so nervous.

maybe because he's never done this before. maybe because he's never had feelings for anyone before, not even a single stirring. he doesn't know what he's doing. plenty of people dated in high school, and people certainly showed interest in him, but cyno wanted nothing to do with it, too focused on his work. college has come, and it had been all the same - sex and dating seem to go hand in hand with college students, but once again, cyno has shown no interest.

not until tighnari.

they've been roommates for three years now, almost four. they had been paired randomly during their freshman year, but their friendship blossomed so quickly and so easily that they decided to continue on as roommates in the coming years, and now at the precipice of their senior year, they've moved to a small condo on campus, far more comfortable than the single room they had shared before, with space enough for them both to have their own rooms, a sprawling common area, and a small kitchen. it's cozy. they work together well, their personalities complement one another, and they're both respectful of one another's space.

if only cyno weren't wrestling with feelings that threaten to tear it all down. he's loved tighnari for years now, since somewhere near the end of their freshman year into sophomore; cyno had realized it just as they were saying goodbye for the summer. they hugged, and tighnari had felt so good in his arms, smelled sweet, and cyno had realized, in an instant, that he did not want to let him go, that he didn't want to go months without seeing him again. he'd thought the summer break might kill those feelings, but when autumn came and tighnari greeted him again with his warm smile, cyno had felt his heart tighten up all over again. he's tried to tamp it back, to allow their relationship to be whatever it wanted to be, but as the years passed his longing only grew. they're close enough friends now that.. that it's all right to ask, isn't it? it won't ruin everything, will it? tighnari will let him down easily, and life will go on. right. he has to believe that.

cyno is sprawled comfortably on the sofa in his jackal-eared hoodie when the door clicks open, and his heart leaps into his throat. swallowing thickly, cyno glances over his shoulder to find tighnari strolling in, still wrapped in his scarf, carrying his books and laptop, his face flushed from the brisk early-winter weather. the book cyno had been reading slips out of his lap. clearing his throat, he snatches it up again. ]

Welcome home.

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[ It smells absolutely heavenly. Even if Tighnari wanted to argue - and he does, it's just in his nature to dissuade others from giving him the kind of attention he tends to give them - the scent is too overpowering, and his stomach growls loudly. Geez...

Still melted into the sofa, his ears flicker towards Cyno moving about in the kitchen, following the sound of his roommate as he pulls the dinner out of the oven. ]

Water will be fine, thank you. I'll let you get away with this tonight, but tomorrow I'm making dinner, alright?

[ He better not fucking dare do this two nights in a row!!! ]

[ YOU'RE NOT HIS MOM, TIGHNARI!! cyno chuckles, low and soft, but with those ears of his tighnari likely hears it. ]

We'll see. It depends on when you get home.

[ if he's going to be rolling in at 9pm, then dinner will definitely already be ready. tighnari will need to rush home if he wants to beat cyno to the kitchen.

fetching two bowls from the cabinet, cyno spoons two generous helpings for them both, pours two glasses of water, and piles it all onto a tray, which he carries back out to the common area. they could eat at the little table by the window, but tighnari looks so comfortable on the sofa, so cyno sets the tray down on the coffee table instead. he hands one bowl over to tighnari, snags his own, and sinks back down into the sofa. ]

I added extra mushrooms for you.

[ Though usually Tighnari will insist on eating at the table, so they don't accidentally make a mess of their living room, but tonight he will make an exception, weary down to his bones as he is. That, and he doesn't have it in him to tell Cyno no - he often doesn't, particularly when he's gone out of his way like this to do something sweet for him.

...And that's quite an often occurrence. Cyno is so very thoughtful...not for the first time, Tighnari how he got so lucky to get matched up with him as a roommate all those years ago. Everything just fell right into place, and it would not be inaccurate to say that his experience at school would have been much less smooth without Cyno around. ]

You did? [ His voice takes on a softer, warmer tone. ] Thank you. You always know just how to spoil me, don't you?

[ And Tighnari will never refuse Cyno's attentions, even if he doesn't know the true reason behind them. He just assumes Cyno is a good friend, because he is. There's no reason to think that he reciprocates his feelings -

Anyway, better not to worry about it right now. He lifts his bowl nearer and digs in with his spoon, wasting no time shoveling in a mouthful. He groans, rather indecently, his ears flattening. It's delicious! ]

Yes, I do.

[ tighnari isn't the only one who feels inordinately lucky. cyno doesn't know how he managed to be so fortunate. their freshman year, when first he arrived, cyno had all but dreaded the inevitable meeting between himself and whoever was unlucky enough to be assigned to him - he's wasn't very good with people. he still isn't. for all his blunt honesty and forwardness, his intensity, cyno is not very well-liked.

which was fine. he didn't need to be well-liked. still, he never could have expected tighnari. they got along like a house on fire nearly from the outset, and cyno couldn't be more grateful. tighnari not only accepts him for who he is, he encourages him, he doesn't dislike cyno for all the usual reasons, he isn't afraid of him, or intimidated by him. or if he was, he didn't let it show. it felt like a breath of fresh air, being around someone like tighnari, someone he could unabashedly be himself around.

cyno watches tighnari's face as he takes a mouthful, like a dog waiting to be praised, and when tighnari groans like that (lewd??), cyno can't help but feel pleased, his chest puffing out just slightly beneath his hoodie. he almost smiles, the corners of his mouth quirking up just so. tighnari looks so cute when his ears pin back like that.. ]

You like it?

[ he's cooked for tighnari more times than he can count, now, but every time he asks if he likes it, every time he needs the affirmation. he hasn't even taken a bite himself, yet. ]

[ Tighnari remains keenly aware that he is being watched closely by Cyno, but he is used to it by this point. For a man who so often goes against the rub, Cyno seems to care an awful lot about what Tighnari thinks of him, which...has come to make him wonder, yes, just a bit, if he might return his feelings. But maybe it's just that Cyno has let him as close as he has that he craves Tighnari's approval. Not that he needs it, or should go looking for it. He always has it.

...Except for when it comes to his jokes, but even those have their charm, in their own terribly painful way.

Anyway, he finishes chewing through his mouthful of shepherd's pie and swallows, warm, filling comfort food trailing right into his empty stomach. It's wonderful. ]

Like it? [ He lifts a brow, giving Cyno a teasing look. ] Of course I like it. I'd go so far as to say I love it, actually.

[ Cyno has made many wonderful dishes for him, and maybe it's just the exhaustion and hunger talking, but this is one of his best yet. It perfectly hits the spot, and Tighnari is already diving into for another generous spoonful. ]

Go on, then! You should enjoy it, too.

[ it would certainly not be a lie to say that he does crave tighnari's approval, and tighnari's approval alone. his assumption that cyno could not care less about the opinion of others is more or less spot on, but..

tighnari is different. it's always been different, between them. even before his feelings developed, cyno had longed for tighnari's attentions, his closeness, his approval, the spark of friendship a new, frightening, exciting thing. even after these years together cyno still finds himself following tighnari around like a dog waiting for a treat.

he nods. ]

Good.

[ it seems a lukewarm response, but this is cyno. his pleasure is evident in the way the corners of his eyes crinkle up, softening at the edges. his emotions may be as muted as ever, but they're there, if you know where to look. soon enough he's doing as bid and digging into his own bowl, enjoying a few mouthfuls. ]

Mm. Yeah, it's not bad.

[ very mushroomy, but that, of course, was for tighnari's sake.

the meal goes on, they chat about their day, about tighnari's courses and cyno's training, a little bit of genius invokation, and before he knows it they're finished, sunk comfortably into the sofa, warm and full. ]

Do you have a lot of work to do? I'd like to show you something, if you don't mind a short walk. [ a beat. ] If you're busy, it's fine.

[ As they eat and chat and pass the time with one another, Tighnari visibly relaxes bit by bit, his weight in the couch sinking closer to Cyno without thinking, his smile and laughter coming easier, the tension in his shoulders easing up and away. It's one of the many reasons why Tighnari loves this arrangement of theirs, if perhaps a selfish one - he finds he can relax around Cyno more than anyone else, and his friend brings it out in him so easily. When he knows he has this to come home to, there's no day he can't face.

With his empty bowl sitting on the coffee table and his head propped up on his curled fist, he turns to peer at Cyno, lost deep in his intense eyes, not sparing a thought for how close they're sitting on this couch right now.

...Okay, maybe he's sparing a little bit of thought to it, but he is a focused man, and Cyno asked him a question. ]

Oh? No, of course I have time. Whatever you have to show me, I'd like to see.

[ If Cyno thinks he will like it, then it is worth his time. Of course, he could show him a crack in the pavement and Tighnari would still go along with it, enamored as he is. He would drop anything to do what Cyno wanted. Cyno doesn't ask that of him, however, and that's part of why Tighnari is so fond of him, too. ]

[ something like a thready smile crosses the hard line of cyno's mouth. he's pleased. ]

Great.

[ even if.. the idea makes his heart race against his ribcage. it'll be fine. everything will be fine. cyno distracts himself with the dishes, gathering their bowls and cups up in his arms and ferrying them back to the kitchen, leaving them in the sink to soak while they're gone. he's already in his hoodie, so cyno only wraps a thick purple scarf around his neck before pulling up the eared hood, tugs on a pair of thin leather gloves, and steps into his sneakers (he hates them). after that, once tighnari is ready, they head out into the chilly night.

they walk close to one another, side by side, and cyno keeps both hands shoved deep into the front pocket of his hoodie, fiddling with the small velvet bag there. they chat, their breath coming in puffs of fog, as cyno leads them to the nearby park, and a little further, into the woods beyond.

close your eyes. trust me, he asks, and takes tighnari by the wrists to lead him through the dark, along the twisting path, dry leaves and twigs snapping beneath their feet as they go. further, further, a little further, and cyno at last brings them to a halt. ]

All right. You can open your eyes.

[ the forest, which should rightly be pitch black, is lit instead by the haunting, gentle glow of bioluminescent mushrooms. they climb the trees in lovely bluegreen shelves, tracing intricate patterns, faintly illuminating the area with their light. cyno presses his lips together, and swallows hard. ]

[ Thank god he wore shoes...for a moment, Tighnari had feared he would need to chastise him.

Though he is devastatingly curious to know where they are going, Tighnari trust Cyno fully; wherever they're headed it will be worth it. He himself wears a sturdy pair of shoes and cozy parka, and while his ears might get a bit cold, he opts out of bringing muffs for them. He has a feeling they'll be moving about, which should help them stay warm.

Beyond that...he has no idea what to expect, especially as they go deeper and deeper into the wood. Were Tighnari with anyone but Cyno, he might be worried by the premise of being led into the woods in the middle of a dark night, but with Cyno, it's...well.

It's almost...romantic. Even the thought is enough to make his heart skip a beat, but that's just all foolish conjecture. That's - no. It couldn't be for any reason like that that Cyno brought him out here. Even as he asks him to close his eyes, and leads him by the wrists to whatever he wants Tighnari to see.

At last, they stop, and Cyno tells him to open his eyes. And oh, what he sees when he does -

It's steals his breath away. Literally, as Tighnari gasps, eyes snapping wide as he takes in the sight, the color, the exquisite nature that surrounds them. He's not unlike a princess given the gift of a gigantic library full of books, and his lifts a hand to curl against his heart, spinning in place so he might catch each and every sight with his eyes. ]

Cyno, I...this is -

[ He doesn't know what to say. It's...incredible. How did he never know this place existed? ]

[ though he hardly knows the meaning of the word, cyno can feel the romance of the moment as well, the quiet intimacy, and deep trust. not just anyone would allow themselves to be led blindly into a dark forest in the middle of the night, but tighnari trusts him fully, and that makes cyno's heart swell with pride. ]

Do you like it?

[ a rhetorical question, really; it's easy to see that tighnari likes it. that he loves it. cyno's heart flutters again, trembling in his breast like a fledgling bird taking its first flight. the light from the moon and mushrooms is enough for cyno to see his face by, to watch the preternatural glow of the fungi dance in tighnari's captivating eyes. does he know how beautiful he is? does he know how it breaks cyno's heart every day?

he fiddles again with the velvet bag in his pocket. ]

I, uh..

[ it's not like cyno to hesitate. he's a straightforward young man right down to his bones, blunt and to the point, but his nerves are dancing with electricity as he searches for his words like he's fumbling in the dark. ]

Holiday break is next week, we won't see each other, so I.. I thought I'd give you your gift now, before you leave.

[ tighnari has family to see, after all, loving parents to welcome him into his home. cyno will be remaining here, on campus, as he always does. he never knew loneliness, before he met tighnari. ]

[ The break isn't exactly what Tighnari expects Cyno to bring up now. To be fair, he doesn't know what he expects, really, after such a breathtaking reveal, and Tighnari must wrangle his attention away from the fungi to better focus on what his friend is saying. It's not such a hard task, though, when he remembers that it was Cyno who brought him here in the first place. Cyno, who found out about this place and knew it was somewhere Tighnari would want to see. Cyno, who is always thinking about him and putting him first.

His brows snap high, and though Tighnari registers what he says, he is slapping a hand to his forehead, ears flicking in frustration. ]

Oh, I knew I was forgetting something important! Cyno, I'm so sorry. I meant to invite you to go visit my family with me over the holidays. My mom won't stop asking when you're coming to visit again, but if it's too short notice, I understand.

[ He really must be taking on too much work, to forget something so important. He shakes his head at himself, his hand falling back to his side. ]

If you still want to give me your gift now, I'll more than happily accept, though I'll have to give you yours when we're back home.

[ He was unprepared!! ]

Oh.

[ that's.. not what he'd been expecting to hear. something warm burgeons in cyno's heart. ]

You.. are you sure?

[ enjoying the holidays with tighnari.. it sounds like a dream. sure, they've visited one another during summer before, he's had the pleasure of meeting tighnari's parents, but cyno has never spent the holidays with him. the idea sounds.. nice. really nice. before he knows it, cyno is smiling.

it's a thin smile in comparison to an ordinary person's, but for all of cyno's muffled emotions, he may as well be grinning from ear to ear. the corners of his eyes crinkle. ]

No, I - I don't have anything going on. So, yeah. I'd.. like that.

[ cyno doesn't have family to visit, people to see; tighnari has become his family. his only family. so, no, he wasn't particularly looking forward to spending the holidays alone, without him. as for the gift.. cyno takes a moment to think. he could change his plan and give tighnari his gift over the holidays, but - this moment just feels right. it feels good. so after a few seconds of thought, he draws the small velvet bag from his pocket and holds it forward in his palm. inside, tighnari will find a golden ear-wrap, crafted especially to fit his left ear. ]

Here.

Great. It's settled, then.

[ It's just that easy, and just like that, Cyno is coming home with him for the holidays. He can't help the way his excitement seeps into his grin, his heart fluttering at the smile Cyno gives him as he returns his invitation. But he only has a moment to dwell on that before Cyno is handing him his gift.

Expression still fond but now lit by curiosity, Tighnari opens the small back and draws out an ornate piece of jewerly, golden and elegant and beautiful. He gasps softly, heat rushing to his cheeks that has nothing to do with the cold air in the forest around him. This is... ]

Oh, Cyno, it's...it's beautiful.

[ It really is, far nicer than any other jewelry he has for his ears, and the simple act of being given a gift like this makes him feel...special. Privileged. He can hardly deserve this, and no doubt it was expensive. It's a deeply meaningful gift, and one that Tighnari recognizes as such.

After turning the ear wrap around in his hands for a few moments, Tighnari turns his gaze up towards Cyno, his expression soft and meaningful. ]

Would you...put this on my ear for me?

[ He could do it himself, of course. But he wants Cyno to do it. He wants him to put this beautiful gift on his ear, to be a part of Tighnari wearing it for the first time. He swallows against the bundle of nerves in his throat. ]

[ in the moments it takes tighnari to unwind his gift, cyno's heart is thrashing like an injured fledgling. it had seemed so perfect when he found it, but what if it's too much? jewelry is something of an intimate gift, isn't it? the sort of gift you give to a partner, not a friend, but the moment he laid eyes on it he knew tighnari had to have it, he knew exactly how it would look against his lovely dark fur. in this moment, however, he's doubting himself, and the boldness of his choice. his gaze is trained tightly on tighnari's face as he opens the bag and spills the cuff out into his palm.

like morning beneath the first rays of sunlight, cyno's anxiety soon evaporates. he exhales in a great puff of fog, and he breathes a soft, nervous laugh.

he likes it. ]

It's good?

[ it's good. tighnari thinks it's beautiful. ]

Oh - yeah.

[ carefully, cyno lifts the cuff from tighnari's palm and begins to gently weave it into place. he's wearing leather gloves, so he unfortunately can't feel the luxurious satin of tighnari's fur, but he can feel the warmth of his ear as cyno slots it delicately into place. the gold gleams handsomely against the deep, velvet green of tighnari's fur. ]

It looks..

[ cyno's hand hovers behind tighnari's ear for a moment, before it lowers, though not away - instead, his fingers weave into tighnari's hair, his leather-clad thumb brushing the crest of his best friend's cheek. cyno swallows thickly, his heart thundering, his pulse roaring, his free hand reaching, seeking one of tighnari's, squeezing. there's nothing to be afraid of. if tighnari doesn't return his feelings, he'll let cyno down gently, and life will go on. there's nothing to be afraid of. there's nothing to be afraid of. his eyes flick down to tighnari's flushed face, meeting his gaze. ]

.. beautiful.

[ No, there is nothing platonic about this at all.

The realization sinks deep into Tighnari's stomach as soon as he asks the question of Cyno to put the ear wrap on for him, but Cyno's reaction only solidifies it further. His touch is delicate, careful, and exact, and then it does not draw away, and that feels right. His hand stays in Tighnari's hair and against his skin, and when he reaches for Tighnari's hand, Tighnari's heart slams against his rib cage like a caged butterfly. It's not often he is really bashful, never really uncertain of himself at all, but this moment has his nerves fluttering, and his skin flushed warm.

After all, how could it not? This is a moment he has been waiting for for years, if he's honest with himself, and now that they have reached it, he can't help but chastise himself for not chasing it down sooner, for letting feelings linger when they could have progressed. He just hadn't wanted to jeopardize what they had -

But now that thought seems foolish, as Cyno utters that single word, sending a shiver right down Tighnari's spine.

His smile broadens, as he turns his face against Cyno's palm, nuzzling into its warmth. ]

Now, you know flattery won't get you far with me.

[ There's a teasing edge to his nerves, but just so Cyno doesn't misunderstand him, Tighnari lifts his free hand to the front of his chest, smoothing upward and snagging in the fabric of his scarf. ]

Kiss me.

[ kiss me.

those words bounce around in his mind like marbles, and despite the intimacy of the moment, cyno still feels stunned. that it's all working out.. but of course it is. they've been close for so long, sharing longing glances, passing gentle touches, it's all been building to this. when tighnari nuzzles into his palm, cyno's blood sings, his face warming, his thin pupils dilating as he tries desperately to set this moment to memory, to forever be able to recall the sight of tighnari pressing so sweetly against his palm.

no more hesitation.

using the hand at tighnari's jaw to pull him in, cyno leans closer, nudges their noses together, and kisses him. warmth erupts in his breast, overflowing, and cyno closes his eyes. it feels soft, and so warm. this close he's able to catch tighnari's familiar scent, he smells like dusty books and musky fur and the sweet, floral scent of the oil he uses on his tail and ears. cyno melts for him, all of his edges softening, yielding. the moment is perfect, lit by the almost preternatural glow of the climbing mushrooms, the moon heavy overhead, the air just chilly enough to make him want to huddle close.

cyno has kissed people before, but only a scant few, mostly at parties tighnari invited him to, which was a rare occasion as it stood; neither of them are too fond of parties. all of those kisses were quick, pointless, meaningless, none of them felt like this, none of them made him want more, however chaste the press of their lips might be. ]

'Nari, I..

[ he whispers, soft against tighnari's lips, unwilling to break away entirely. ]

Do you want to.. would you be my -

[ He knew what he was doing when he asked Cyno to kiss him, and he knew he wouldn't be disappointed, and for all his confidence, his nerves are stuttering too, flushing cold and hot as Cyno draws near and closes the distance between them completely. His lips are warm, soft, giving just enough - not asking too much or too little. Surrounded by the light of the mushrooms in the grove, it's the best, most romantic first kiss Tighnari could hope for. It's almost a shame to close his eyes to miss seeing it.

When Cyno draws back just enough to speak, Tighnari huffs a laugh, winding his arms around Cyno's shoulders, holding him near, relishing the chance to do so without it seeming misplaced. Why hadn't they done this long ago?

But...no, this moment is perfect. He can't even be upset that they took their time arriving at it. ]

Be your boyfriend? Of course I will, you sweet fool.

[ And then it's his turn to lean in to kiss Cyno, with a bit more pressure this time, a smile formed over his slightly parted lips. He lingers long enough to gauge Cyno's reaction, and to pour his heart into it, to convey what he's feeling through action instead of words. Gods, but his heart is so full. He has waited so long for this.

Even when his kiss breaks away, he remains near, his brow pressed to Cyno's. ]

Much as I'd love to stay here forever, we should head back. I have a bottle of wine I'd like to break out to celebrate properly.

[ tighnari helpfully fills in the rest of cyno's sentence for him, sparing the need to say the words, and cyno's heart leaps straight up into his throat. he breaks into a broad, frankly goofy grin, an expression that tighnari has likely never seen on him before, but he can't help but feel giddy and warm. he's wanted this for a long time, and he thinks it was worth the wait for this moment, this warmth; cyno isn't a romantic, really, but this.. could change his mind, a little.

of course i will, you sweet fool.

and then tighnari is kissing him again, and this time it is a little more passionate, a little less chaste. it lingers on, and cyno parts his lips against it, breathing tighnari's air, his scent, a low rumble rolling in his throat, pleased and content. cyno could stay here like this all night, holding to him, kissing him.

except.. yeah, tighnari's ears are probably getting cold.

though he chases tighnari's mouth for more soft kisses, he hums his agreement, his hand in tighnari's grasping a little more tightly, their fingers woven together. ]

Yeah. All right.

[ wine sounds good. and it's the weekend - they'll both still be busy tomorrow, they're too serious about their work and educations to waste a saturday - but at least there are no classes. it takes a great deal of self-control for him to pull away, but cyno draws back at last, tugging at tighnari's hand to lead him back to the path. though it dawns on him all but immediately that.. ]

.. oh. Um. Your parents - are they going to be.. okay with this?

[ do they like him enough?? are they going to be weird about it because he isn't valuka shuna?? ]

[ The warmth and closeness of Cyno's body is missed as soon as it's gone, and Tighnari already aches to step closer to him again, but fortunately Cyno takes his hand, and that will have to do for now. Once they get back home, they can touch and kiss and snuggle all they want. Which given how long they've been teasing at this thing...will likely be quite a lot.

His cheeks and ears feel warm. Gods, when did he last feel so...young? So sweet and full?

With a soft chuckle, Tighnari tosses Cyno a look that can only be described as "bruh", but squeezes his fingers in his own for good measure. ]

Are you kidding? I think every time you come to visit my mom hopes you'll stay forever.

[ Who cares if he isn't Valuka Shuna? And even if his parents did worry about that kind of thing, Tighnari wouldn't. He's hardly one to stand on foolish tradition when his heart leads him a different direction.

And it has led him straight to Cyno, time and time again, in so many ways now. ]

Be prepared for an abundance of hugging when we travel home for the holiday.

[ He can't help a warmed smile when he says that. ]

[ tighnari isn't the only one missing that closeness and heat - now that cyno's tasted it, he wants nothing more than to pull tighnari back into his arms again, but.. he's patient. he's waited this long, after all, he can wait the twenty or so minutes it takes them to return to their dorm. and then.. then, they can kiss all they want, and cyno can feel the shape of him in his arms again. his heart flutters, joyous and light.

tighnari's answer releases some of the tension in his chest, however, and cyno exhales in a puff. ]

I'm glad she likes me. Most people don't.

[ he says it matter-of-factly, because, well, it's true. people are intimidated by cyno, by his stoic disposition and his deep intensity - it's simple fact. he's strange, and people fear strangeness. he's strong, and people fear strength. it's natural. it doesn't bother him. when he was younger, it had been a bit lonely, but now.. well, he has tighnari, and that's all he needs. he's happy. cyno squeezes tighnari's hand; even through their gloves, it feels warm and perfect in his own. ]

Though I suppose.. I'll need to go gift shopping for your parents, before we leave.

[ he hadn't known he'd need to, before this point.. oops. but it's fine. he knows tighnari's parents well enough to figure something out quickly enough.

just the idea fills him with sweet, nervous energy. going home for the holidays with tighnari sounds like a dream. being welcomed by his family.. as his partner? there's no gift he could want more. ]

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