cashewlater | (no subject)

[ tighnari doesn't choke, or gag, which is.. all the incentive cyno needs, really, to begin rocking his hips a little more in earnest. his abdomen tenses tight as he moves, fucking deep into tighnari's welcoming mouth, watching his beautiful face as his cheeks hollow and his throat works. then that palm is against his sac, squeezing, fondling, and cyno sees stars. ]

'Nari, I - I'm - I'm gonna -

[ but it's the only warning he can manage before cyno comes, hard, his gut clenching up tight as a fist as he spills in hot, sticky ropes against his lover's tongue, spending himself completely with a low, animal growl. his grasp on tighnari's ear tightens, his hips stuttering forward, eyes closing and chin tipping back as he slumps back against the dresser, panting hard. ]

[ Tighnari moans around Cyno's cock as the other moves, letting him take control of the pace. He eagerly sucks at the cock being thrust into his mouth, his free hand moving to touch over Cyno's stomach instinctively, feeling his muscles.

Without the warning he still would've known, he still appreciates it, god Cyno is so perfect. Even the way he comes is perfect. He lets his nails scrape over his stomach as he just continues to massage his balls and swallow around him. He whimpers and nearly chokes when the other's hand tightens on his ear and it's everything he can do not to touch himself.

He's craving Cyno more than he's craved anything in his entire life. He sucks on him a little longer after he comes, his hand moving from his sac to his hip as he slowly pulls his head back and kitten licks at him some more. He doesn't want it to be over yet even if he's swallowed his come, even if his mouth and chin are a complete mess. ]

Cyno...

[ He breathes, but nothing he wants to say is something that he can say. ]

[ the pleasure is exquisite, all-encompassing, crashing over cyno's head in a scalding wave of bliss. his vision whites out, and for a moment he's simply.. floating, feeling nothing beyond the heat of tighnari's mouth swallowing him down, taking everything he's given, slurping down cyno's spend as if it were the ambrosia of the gods. as if he couldn't breathe without it.

and then cyno is coming down, hazy and dizzied, his chest heaving with every breath. pupils blown wide, cyno glances down at tighnari's face, and gods, he could get hard again just looking at the mess he's made. ]

.. c'mere.

[ he murmurs, his voice gone rough. his grasp on tighnari's ear loosens, and instead he drops his fingers beneath his chin, tugging gently, trying to urge him to his feet. ]

Let me take care of you..

[ Tighnari swallows and for a moment he's not thinking as he lets the other tug him and gets to his feet. He's breathing heavy, his body aching to be touched but he can't forget that he can't let Cyno. It'd all be over then... ]

I'm okay, Cyno.

[ Tighnari says softly, swallowing heavily and he can't quite make himself meet Cyno's eyes for a moment. ]

[ tighnari rises, and cyno swipes his thumb across his chin, clearing away the mess, while his free arm hooks around tighnari's middle, pulling him in close. ]

What?

[ did he mishear him? or misunderstand? surely tighnari is only teasing him. cyno's hand drops from his chin, skating down the front of his shirt, his fingertips just barely slipping beneath the waistband of tighnari's jeans. ]

Aren't you hard for me? It's your turn.

[ Tighnari's heart is racing and he wants to just relax into Cyno, to let Cyno take care of him but he can't. He swallows heavily. How does he get out of this without Cyno thinking it's because he doesn't turn him on? He turns him on so much...

Of course, Cyno is the kind of guy who couldn't just get his and be fine with it like so many other guys Tighnari's had the displeasure of being with. He's tense and his hand goes to the other's wrist to stop him from getting any further to his jeans. He's dangerously close to getting caught. ]

I... I'm...

[ He stutters. ]

Of course I am. I just... I'm not... ready.

[ Is it a lie... a white lie? He convinces himself even as guilt creeps in. But it's true at least that he's not ready. He's not ready for Cyno to know the truth, to lose this moment. ]

Cyno... I want you, please believe me...

[ cyno looks.. well, more than a little confused. his brows knit together as he looks into tighnari's face, searching his eyes, puzzled concern writ clear across his features. something isn't.. sitting right. tighnari had been so ready to go only moments ago, and now he's.. ]

I.. don't understand.

[ cyno shakes his head, but he doesn't press his fingers any further. he values consent, and if tighnari says no, he means no. still, it doesn't feel right. it doesn't feel fair. ]

If you want me, why won't you let me? I want to feel you, 'Nari.. I want to make you feel good.

[ gently, he tips his head forward to touch their brows together, his arm around tighnari's middle squeezing. ]

[ Tighnari knows then between the other's expression and his words that he can't keep this up. He can't lie. It's wrong. All of this is wrong, hiding something like this from someone you want to be with... knowing if they know that they won't want you anymore.

He steels himself because he refuses to cry as much as his eyes burn. ]

You don't... you...

[ Instead of explaining he uses his hold on Cyno's wrist to pull the other's hand, to place it against his crotch, his pants damp with his arousal but it's very clear there's not a dick where there should be.

He's never hated his body more than this moment it feels like. He doesn't look at Cyno, dropping his hand away from his wrist and his face burning. ]

[ cyno's blatant confusion is quite clear. he's known tighnari for a long time. they've been roommates for over a year, and friends long before that. they've shared everything with each other, every difficulty and heartache, every success, every silly mundane story and moment, and yet now.. it feels like there's a gap between them. a space that was never there before. tighnari looks like he's on the verge of tears, and cyno is absolutely flabberghasted. how did this all go so wrong so quickly? ]

Tighnari, hey, it's just me..

[ he murmurs, gentle and easy, and he's about to withdraw his hand to cup tighnari's face, when his hand is seized, pulled down between tighnari's legs, and -

it all falls into place. the confusion on cyno's face flips immediately into shock. ]

You.. you're - [ he starts, his ears ringing. ] - you're trans?

[ It's not an accusation. Tighnari knows that but it still feels like it. He looks down, his hands curled into fists at his sides now. He feels choked by the feelings of shame and he really has no one but himself to blame. He swallows heavily. ]

I know it's not your thing. You don't have to.. say anything.

[ Can the earth just swallow him whole? ]

[ cyno's head is spinning. he's reeling. it feels like he's been punched in the gut, all the air knocked from his lungs.

trans. tighnari is trans. suddenly, so much makes sense. the fact that tighnari always changes in the bathroom, despite their closeness. that he's always refused to swim with cyno. and now.. now this. he hates the look on tighnari's face, the shame and anguish, but cyno also can't help the flash of anger he feels. he's not an angry man. it takes a great deal to really set off his temper. but he's angry now.

not because tighnari is trans, no. but because he's hidden it this entire time. something so important. something so integral to who he is. quickly, cyno does up his jeans again. ]

You never told me. You never said anything.

[ and.. truth be told, tighnari doesn't owe anyone an explanation in regards to his gender, but cyno still can't help but feel.. hurt. ]

Don't you trust me?

[ Instantly, Tighnari recognizes the shift in Cyno, the anger. He crosses his arms, the only defense he can have against this. Because it's true. He never told Cyno. But he's wanted Cyno for so long and he'd always known Cyno is gay. Cyno likes cock. He's made it so abundantly clear. It's the one thing Tighnari doesn't have and it'd always been okay to him even when he was bullied, it was okay until it was the one thing in the way of ever having a real chance with Cyno.

It's so incredibly stupid.

He shakes his head quickly though and swallows the lump in his throat because he doesn't have a right to fall apart and cry right now. This is all his fault. ]

Of course I trust you... but... you would have never been into me if you knew. What you like isn't a secret.

[ And a trans guy like Tighnari doesn't fit the bill and he knows it. ]

So you thought it was fine to just assume what I'd be into and what I wouldn't.

[ cyno's entire posture tenses. just moments ago things had been so good, and now.. now this. now tighnari is barely holding it together, and cyno feels like he's been punched in the teeth by the fact that his best friend has been hiding something so important from him. and for such a ridiculous reason. ]

You didn't even give me the opportunity to find out for myself, whether I'd be into you or not.

[ cyno's jaw sets, his ruby eyes flashing, and he's pushing forward immediately, pinning tighnari back against the wall again. ]

Yeah, I like dick. So what? I also like you.

[ Tighnari swallows hard again and he wants to point out that Cyno had numerous times said what he was into. But does he even have a right to say anything just now? He's about to say something when in a flash he just finds himself pinned to the wall and he's caught between shock and an instinctual throb of arousal again. Dammit.

His hands come up to Cyno's chest but he doesn't know what he's trying to do. He wants to pull him closer but he should push him away. Cyno's angry. And he has every right to be... ]

But...sexually... I'm not... Cyno. And you liked me thinking I had a dick, right? That you were sexually compatible with me.

[ Because he knows gender and sexuality aren't the same. It's always been a somewhat difficult lesson to keep in mind.

Dammit why does Cyno have to be so perfect and sexy right now? ]

Do you think that's all that I wanted from you? A good fuck?

[ another jab between his ribs, and cyno's heart aches. no, gender and sexuality aren't the same, and it's true that cyno has always considered himself firmly gay, but things change, people change, sexuality is a fluid spectrum, and in the end, he's honestly more demi than he is anything else. it's tighnari he wants. ]

I love you, Tighnari. I've loved you for years, not because I thought you had a dick, but because I care about you. Fuck being sexually compatible, I want you.

[ and to prove it, he's fussing at the front of tighnari's jeans again, tugging open the button and fly. ]

[ Tighnari flinches at the words that feel so harsh. He never thought that... but could either of them deny that sex can be a very important part of a healthy relationship... He'd never expected this kind of reaction from Cyno. The anger is warranted but Cyno is pulling him closer not shoving him away.

They went from like to a confession of love so fast and Tighnari's throat tightens. Cyno loves him... ]

Cyno...

[ He doesn't fight him as the other starts working at his jeans, his heart racing again. Is this really happening? His brain is still processing all that's just happened. Don't think he won't say those words back but he feels a little dumbstruck. But he reaches down to help push his jeans down, his stomach still having nervous knots because it's easy to say those things but what about actually going through with it? Could he still turn Cyno off?

Maybe he's terrible for harboring any doubt. ]

[ cyno may come to regret having voiced the depths of his feelings like this, while he's angry, while they're both hurting, but it couldn't go without saying. tighnari needs to understand, and if it means driving him away because it's too much too soon.. well, at least he hadn't lied. at least he'd been as honest as he could be.

later, once the sting and sense of betrayal wear off, he'll soften, he'll be sorry for the harshness of his words, but in this moment, he can't help it. he can't help the ache in his chest.

but tighnari isn't pushing him away. in fact, he's helping him to loosen his jeans, which is all cyno needs to move forward. he's.. well, he has no idea what to do with a pussy, he's never touched one before, but he'll figure it out, with tighnari's help. it can't be too difficult, right? working his fingers beneath the band of tighnari's underclothes, cyno plunges his hand down the front, searching, questing, his fingers slipping against slick folds. ]

Tell me.. tell me what feels good.

[ Tighnari gasps when the other's fingers move against his pussy and his head falls back against the wall because any contact feels amazing at this point. He has to focus though, as easy as it would be to just bliss out in being touched by the man he's fantasized about for years. One of his hands go to his bicep, holding tightly to it. ]

You can... just touch me... like that.

[ Honestly it would be enough but he reaches down with his free hand to guide Cyno's hand to his swollen clit shuddering at even a brush of fingers against it. ]

That's very sensitive. It... It's kind of like a mini cockhead.

[ He huffs out a breath, it's funny, almost, to explain to Cyno how to get him off when Cyno's clearly still angry with him. He guides his hand again pressing Cyno's fingers between the folds to find the hole. ]

You can put your fingers in here.. if.. you want. Cyno you don't have to do any of this.

[ Please don't stop, though. ]

[ it's.. strange.

not bad, but different. cyno has paid enough attention in biology and sex ed classes to understand the basic anatomy of an afab person - but it's all technical, clinical. labia, clitoris, vagina. it doesn't teach him anything about actually pleasuring tighnari.. but tighnari is doing a fine job of that himself.

there's curiosity in the way he explores tighnari's body, smoothing his rough fingertips over the swell of his clit, dropping them down to slip between his folds where his body dips into a slick canal. cyno's not sure he would like this with just anyone, but with tighnari.. ]

You're.. you're so wet..

[ he murmurs, his breath catching as he mouths along tighnari's jaw, pinning him further against the wall. ]

Stop telling me I don't have to. I want to.

[ Tighnari's legs feel like jelly as Cyno's calloused fingertips explore him. His eyes flutter shut again as the other pins him harder against the wall, feeling his hot breath on his jaw, the wet open mouthed kisses and soft whimpers and moans escape him. ]

You make me this wet.

[ His toes curl against the floor as his hips arch into the other's hand. Everything aches and feels swollen with his arousal and he hesitates before his hands move under his shirt, fumbling with the binder he's wearing until he can pull it off, letting it drop to the floor.

In this moment, Cyno deserves the whole truth of his body and a part of his horny mind is hoping Cyno will like it anyway. ]

[ it's not so surprising, now, that tighnari wears a binder - he could've expected that much, and honestly, tits aren't as strange to him as touching a cunt. he's fooled around with women before, while he was still learning what he liked, and he'd not minded their breasts, even liked them, a little, so on tighnari, he doesn't mind.

he loves him. tighnari is beautiful no matter how his body is shaped. cyno will just have to get used to it. it helps, that tighnari is reacting so beautifully, arching and whining, and cyno can feel the folds of his pussy quivering with anticipation. for a few more moments, he rubs at the bud of tighnari's clit, before he's seeking downward again, and carefully sliding his middle finger into tighnari's body, feeling the wet, hot cling of his walls.

strange. still strange. but also.. kind of hot. his free hand gropes beneath tighnari's shirt, closing over one of his breasts, squeezing. ]

Fuck, Cyno.

[ Tighnari whimpers as the other's teasing his clit, feeling the pleasure and heat building. Cyno could so easily push him over the edge and Tighnari is clinging to precipice, not wanting it to be over too quickly.

The fingers slide away from his clit and he feels raw. Cyno's finger slips easily into his hole, walls tight around it, sucking it in. He's certain there's no one else that could get him off so freaking easy and effortlessly.

When he removed the binder he hadn't expected Cyno to touch his breasts but when his hand grasps one, squeezing it goes straight to his core and he arches away from the wall and tries to push himself down more on Cyno's finger. ]

Cyno... so close.

[ It's fast but he'd already been so worked up to begin with. ]

[ touching tighnari like this might feel a little weird, and not at all what he was expecting when he'd fantasized about their time together, but.. it's worth it, to see the way he twists, to hear his soft whines, to feel the clench of his body and know that he likes it, that he's feeling the same perfect pleasure that cyno felt only moments ago.

he.. also hadn't expected the brush of metal against his thumb. piercings? tighnari knows about all of cyno's, of course, he's been naked around tighnari plenty of times, but he's never seen these parts of tighnari before, and it's certainly a pleasant surprise. releasing the breast in his hand, cyno uses those fingers instead to tug his shirt up so he can dip his head and get a mouth around his nipple, sucking hard, the stud in his tongue clicking against tighnari's own, and rolling over the sensitive bud.

a second finger joins the first, and soon he's fucking both fingers into tighnari's body with ease, they slide so easily for how slick he is. ]

Come for me, habibi..

[ How is Tighnari supposed to be able to withstand any of this? Having Cyno's hands on him was one thing but now his mouth on his nipple, feeling their piercings clicking together and his nipple feeling impossibly hard in Cyno's mouth. It's sending tingles straight to his cunt.

He wants to take in every sensation. He doesn't want to forget or miss anything. His pussy clings to Cyno's fingers his hips grinding to try and ride them.

Come for me, habibi.

Tighnari's a lost cause then as his body tightens up with the sudden rush of his orgasm, his vision going white and he moans Cyno's name, completely dependent upon him to keep himself upright as he he came on the other's fingers. ]

[ tighnari comes so beautifully for him, and that, at least, is exactly what cyno had imagined. he'd thought of how lovely tighnari would look as he came, how his pretty face would tighten up with pleasure, how his body would arch and twist, how he would call cyno's name in a voice gone rough and raw..

it's almost enough to get him hard again.

cyno's fingers remain where they are, pressed deep into tighnari's spasming cunt, and he groans softly, lifting his head to drag his mouth along tighnari's throat, to his lips, kissing him hard and hot. this night has been.. an absolute whirlwind, full of unexpected things, but in the end, being with tighnari, touching and kissing him.. it's all worth it. ]