cashewlater | ic inbox @ hotel caelum;

[ it's difficult, sometimes, to have tighnari so close; does he know what it does to cyno? how it makes him feel? in some ways it's almost a cruel tease, for how close he wants to be, like holding food just out of reach of a starving man.

and yet, he sinks into it so easily, wouldn't ever give it up. the closeness they have is something special, however painful it might be, and cyno is glad to take what little he can have when it comes to intimacy with his dearest friend. still, his face warms a little when tighnari's chin rests on his shoulder, the pad of one finger smoothing over cyno's knuckle. ]

A ring, hmm?

[ he surveys the crystal a little longer. it wouldn't be difficult to cut a small piece for a setting. ]

Well there's more than enough crystal to make all sorts of things.

[ unfortunately he's a bit oblivious to cyno's own dilemma, more focused on the comfort of this closeness and the warmth that seeps from the man. he'll linger for a bit but he'll pull back eventually. he always does, knows he should. even if he himself would potentially like a bit more - he dares not cross any further.

but he does think a ring with parts of this crystal affixed in the middle.. it would surely look nice on the man's hand. he nods slightly, finally straightening to sit back against the sofa now while he takes his own tail onto his lap to comb through idly. ]

We can experiment with a few later and see for ourselves then.

[ he does feel a bit of drowsiness settle, but he doesn't mention it, merely tending to his fur quietly. ]

[ it's fine, really, for difficult though it might be to endure sometimes, the idea of being without it is much, much worse. before knowing tighnari, cyno was not an affectionate person - in fact, touch had been something foreign and terrifying for him. before he learned to properly control hermanubis, it was quite easy for him to accidentally hurt people.

in so many ways, tighnari is one of the best things to happen to him. the others, of course, being cyrus and collei. ]

Mmhmm.

[ when tighnari pulls back, cyno glances over his shoulder, then reaches to set the crystal back into the basket. ]

Getting sleepy?

A little.

[ tighnari can admit that much, he did not have a nap himself like cyno - and the warmth of him and dinner both has lulled him to a pleasant comfort that has winded him down further.

still, he makes no attempt to actually get ready for sleep. he can stay up longer if the other man wishes to talk more. in the meantime, he can continue to thread his fingers through his fur to ensure their earlier tumbling didn't get any sneaky twigs buried deep in his tail. ]

What about you?

[ ehe tighnari looks so cute when he's getting eepy.. cyno smiles. ]

Mm, a little bit.

[ he's not super tired, really, but tighnari should get some rest, cyno is more than content to do some reading in his room before bed. reaching back, he rubs affectionately at the base of one of tighnari's ears before he's getting to his feet, and moving to a nearby linen closet to fish out a spare blanket and pillow, both of which he places on the sofa beside tighnari.

after that, he's piling their dishes onto the tray and lifting it. ]

I'll wash these up, you get some sleep, hmm?

[ lashes flutter to a close when those fingers gingerly touch an ear, humming softly with a slight lean until cyno is moving away. his ear flicks afterwards, briefly missing that touch and merely peers up to watch him walk off.

his tail quietly thumps against the sofa once, pondering until he reaches to gather the pillow and blanket to start making himself more comfortable. he nods then, patting the pillow a little until he's reclining along the length of the sofa to properly lay down. ]

Mmnn, alright. Get some rest soon. Goodnight Cyno.

[ he stifles a yawn, before peering over at him with a sleepy smile. ]

Edited (I hit enter too fast!!!) 2023-11-01 14:49 (UTC)

Goodnight.

[ that cute, sleepy smile is answered by one of cyno's own, before he's padding back to the kitchen area to wash the dishes up, and put away what remains of the shakshouka and bread.

after that, he's slipping of to his room to dress down and climb into bed. it's a little while before he sleeps - thanks to his recharging nap earlier, he's not terribly tired, but an hour into reading he feels his eyelids growing heavy. not long after, he's shutting off his light and falling asleep.

since the akasha shut down and those from sumeru regained their dreams, cyno has learned to deal with the nightmares. they come relatively often. he lives a violent lifestyle, after all, and cyno has done painful things in the name of justice - while he has no regrets, there are things that haunt him. people that haunt him.

and there's so very much blood on his hands.

deep into the night, cyno falls into a dark pit. their hands pull at him, their voices cry out in pain and grief - why? why has this happened to them? - cyno tries to fight, but his limbs feel heavy. slowly he sinks into the lake of mud and blood, it fills his mouth, and in his bed he thrashes, cries out, sheets tangling around his legs like the limbs that grasp at him, pulling him down. ]

[ tighnari removes most of the heavier outer layers of his clothes, dressing down to something lighter before he fully burrows into his makeshift bed on the sofa. with the blankets wrapped around him, that earlier warmth and scent of his companion is what fills his senses as he quietly drifts to sleep. the sounds of the kitchen and distant footsteps out in the distance fading in the background.

his own sleep is very much quiet in comparison. a rather dreamless night, which is one he's quite accustomed to. he likely would have stayed completely asleep until morning if his hearing wasn't as sharp as it was. his ears twitch, something breaking through his deep sleep to stir him awake, blinking blearily into the dark as his brain tries to start and catch up on his surroundings.

...right. he was staying over cyno's room at the hotel. he sits up, shaking his head a little and looking in the direction of where he's sure he heard something. his tail flicks anxiously, not thinking much as he already pushes to a stand and carefully walks over to the room. there's a bit of soreness in his foot as he does, but he quickly ignores it while he gently knocks on the door, just to alert of his presence. ]

Cyno?

[ with that, he quietly makes his way inside, eyes adjusting to the darkness to find the man thrashing a bit in his bed. tighnari knows what it is right away - someone plagued by nightmares. it doesn't really surprise him that of all people, cyno would be plagued by such a thing. despite his stony and cold exterior, there's more to him than appearances, he carries a heavy burden and the weight of so much.

he steps over, voice soft and light on the chance the man hears him before he reaches him at his bedside. his knee presses lightly onto the mattress, a hand carefully seeking to touch the man on his shoulder as he gently wakes him. he doesn't want the man to startle awake, struggling between nightmare and reality, so he continues to talk in an audible soft tone. ]

Hey... Cyno, wake up.

[ another hand raises, touch gentle as he brushes aside white hair crowning around the man's face. trying to soothe and ease him awake. ]

[ it's perhaps a testament to just how deep cyno is in his dreams that he does not wake the moment tighnari opens the door, the moment he calls his name, for he generally wakes quite easily. no, cyno doesn't wake until tighnari's fingers brush his face, pushing back his damp hair, when his eyes snap open with a start, his arm immediately shooting upward to snatch tighnari's wrist in his hands, a sharp gasp in his throat.

for a moment his eyes are wide, pupils blown and black, as he works out just what has happened, and where he is. the scent of blood still feels thick in his senses, he can feel their hands grasping at him, cold and lifeless and so, so strong - ]

T-Tighnari..

[ awareness creeps around the edges of his consciousness, tighnari's lovely face drifting into his vision, eyes full of concern.

a nightmare. he'd been having a nightmare.. that explains the sheets tangled around his legs, and the thin sheen of cold sweat that clings to his bared skin. cyno's chest heaves as he sucks in a breath, closing his eyes, his heart pounding against his ribs. ]

.. sorry.

[ tighnari almost expects the man to lash out once he does awaken, which is why he isn't nearly as startled or surprised when that hand shoots out and grabs his wrist in an almost vice-grip. he doesn't move any further, not wanting his dear friend to feel any more threatened than he does. he waits for him to calm down enough to realize who it is that is with him.

as his name leaves the other's lips does he offer a sympathetic smile in return. he hums softly, reaching to carefully untangle the sheets from where they are. freeing him from it as he spreads it out more properly out. not tucking him back in just yet, he doesn't want cyno to feel suffocated after whatever cruel nightmare he was having behind closed eyes. ]

You don't need to apologize. It's alright.

[ he sits more properly now on the bed, gingerly brushing bangs aside and smoothing a hand over a cheek. he inhales softly before exhaling long, talking quietly as he does.]

Take a moment to breathe in and out with me, okay?

[ nightmares are a nasty thing. collei has gotten a few now and then, and tighnari has always been there to help ease her through them. so he isn't at a loss as he tries to help cyno here. he lets them both have a moment of just breathing, trying to calm him more down from that high stress. it isn't until after a couple of minutes does he look him over again. ]

You alright?

[ let none doubt the efficacy of tighnari's gentle bedside manner.. cyno calms almost immediately the moment tighnari speaks, and though his heart is still pounding, a sense of ease begins to close in around him like a warm blanket.

it was just a nightmare. he's safe. tighnari is safe. everyone is safe.

the mattress creaks gently when tighnari sits, cyno's eyes following him, and at first he does not speak for a little while - instead he does as asked, focusing on his breathing, in and out, in and out.. until his pulse slowly begins to calm, the tingle of adrenaline wearing away. cyno turns, pressing his face into tighnari's side and closing his eyes. right now he can't deny himself the closeness, isn't strong enough to resist. ]

.. yeah.

[ he says softly, one hand tangled in tighnari's shirt, holding fast. ]

I didn't mean to wake you.

I'm used to waking up at odd hours, so don't worry about it.

[ whether it be sudden forest watcher duties that need his attention or even the distant call of a chatty dusk bird, tighnari is no stranger to waking at the smallest of noises. so he is quick to reassure his friend. even if his own movements feel a bit sluggish with sleep, he is very much awake right now.

though his gaze softens as he watches cyno press closer, taking only a moment to think about it before he carefully slides onto the bed. enough so he's resting right beside him. with the thought of how tightly that hand was on his shirt, he wraps arms around cyno to pull him close. allowing him the opportunity to bury into the fox as much as he wishes.

one hand threads fingers through white hair, massaging at his scalp while his tail curls over cyno with a gentle flop. ]

You can cuddle with my tail if you'd like. That usually helps Collei.

[ something that usually helped ground her, so he's happy to offer to cyno as well. he lets a moment of silence to fill before he quietly speaks again. ]

...We don't need to talk about it. [ what he saw. what nightmares plague him. ] I can stay here for the rest of the night, if you'd like? Or just until you're ready to sleep again.

[ though he's sure that cyno may not be willing to sleep right away. ]

[ tighnari slides down under the blankets, and cyno's reaction is instant - he pushes in near, pressing his face into tighnari's shoulder, one arm coiling around that thick, fluffy tail. one might think that he'd be ashamed to need the comfort of it, but he isn't. what's good enough for collei is good enough for him.

though is pains him to know that she suffers in this way as well. he's not surprised. he and collei.. have a lot in common, but cyno would do anything to protect her even from her own dreams. she's been through far more than anyone her age should ever have been exposed to, and given how cyno was raised, he can understand her in ways that few couldn't.

thank the gods for tighnari. they're both incredibly fortunate to have him. ]

Stay.

[ he says softly, his arm around tighnari's tail tightening. ]

I want you to stay.

I'll stay then.

[ a soft confirmation, a silent I've got you. happy that he can provide the man even a bit of comfort. glad that cyno is willing to take and accept it.

parts of that tail coil a bit around that arm wrapped around, leaving his own arm around cyno a bit loose as his other hand continues to thread white strands of hair. focusing on listening to that steady breathing, the tone of his voice, easing the man's heartbeat into a steady rhythm.

it's featherlight, when he buries his nose a little into white hair, humming quietly. there isn't a tune or song in mind as he hums, mostly doing it so there is more reassurances that he's here with him. whatever haunts or plagues him in nightmares is neither here or there right now. ]

[ he's so grateful for tighnari, moreso than he could ever rightly express, truly. how had he gotten so lucky? cyno doesn't exactly have a lot of friends - or at least, he didn't for a long time - but he's had tighnari, and that was enough. tighnari, who he trusts with his life, who is always beside him, so incredibly strong. tighnari, one of the few people he trusts enough to be allowed to see him this way.

cyno hums softly, and buries his face in the warm, soft fur of tighnari's tail.

they say nothing, they don't need to say anything, don't need to fill the silence. tighnari's gentle humming soothes him, as does the hand in his hair, and slowly but surely cyno begins to relax, the tight tension he's carrying beginning to ease away until his heart rate has returned to normal, the rush of adrenaline fading. ]

Thank you. [ he says, once he can trust his voice not to tremble. his eyes flick open, half-lidded. ] They started once the Akasha was shut down.

[ tighnari doesn't try to break the silence that fills, content enough with tending to him. this side of cyno - not just anyone would be able to see, so he knows it shows the trust that cyno has for him to allow this vulnerability to be taken care of. his expression softens as the man sinks into the silky soft fur of his tail.

there's relief when he can physically feel the man relax in his arms. that earlier tight-winded tension slowly loosens until his companion is completely at ease in his arms. that's good. his eyes fall to a close, ears twitching a little when cyno's voice reaches him. ]

Are they always this bad? [ how haunted the man seemed once he was awake - it pains him a little to remember. there's a ticklish feel as he nestles his nose into white hair. ]

Yes.

[ sometimes worse. he hardly wants to worry tighnari any more than he already has, but cyno has awakened more than once to his manifested claws buried in the mattress, or clawing at the headboard. it's a bit of a problem, but he sees no way out but to simply endure it. it is what it is.

were they in sumeru, perhaps he could speak with nahida about calming his dreams, but.. a part of cyno can't help but feel that he deserves them. that this is his penance, for the blood that he is spilled. even his own heart will one day be weighed upon the scales, after all, he can't escape his past actions, despite the fact that he does not regret them. but he'll allow tighnari's comfort nonetheless, murmuring softly when his hair is nuzzled into. ]

It's fine. I'm used to it by now. It isn't every night.

Mmm.

[ of course tighnari knows better than to assume it's only to this extent. he's sure these nightmares could be worse... either way, it does not sit well with him. he can hardly do much but alleviate them as he can now. provide some comfort, ease him back into reality rather than the grip these nightmares have over him.

even so, he gingerly shakes his head, arms pulling him a bit closer. there's an audible light huff as he does and his tail subconsciously twitches as if to lash, were it not occupied in cyno's arms. ]

Even if you're used to it, it doesn't have me any less concerned. [ it still worries him. ] You especially shouldn't have to deal with it alone.

[ of course, tighnari can't always be there but... at least here, at least right now he can. he rests his chin over the top of his head, his ears folding back. ]

[ tighnari likely can't grasp just how much his presence helps, how much it soothes him. usually it takes cyno at least an hour to calm himself enough to sleep again after a bad nightmare, but now.. it's been some fifteen minutes and he's already comfortable again.

the memory still sticks, and cyno is sure that when he closes his eyes he can still taste the blood and mud flooding his mouth, but.. he feels safe. secure. warm. he can allow himself to be vulnerable with tighnari in ways he could never allow with anyone else. pressed close like this, surrounded by tighnari's scent, he is unwinding. ]

Well, maybe not, but.. it is what it is.

[ because yes, tighnari can't be expected to babysit him every night. ]

It's nothing I can't handle, Tighnari. Really.

[ lips dip into a small frown, the ends of his tail flicking before it settles again. his arms squeezing just a fraction until they hang around his companion with a held back sigh. ]

I know. You've clearly handled it up until now.

[ which still doesn't satisfy tighnari, though his tone remains understanding. soft with his awareness. because as the man says- it is what it is. even so, he gently knocks his forehead against cyno's head in a light bump. ]

You can always come to me though. Here. I don't mind.

[ It's Cyno, after all. tighnari would want nothing more than to ease even a little bit. after everything cyno has done for him, of course he would want to. ]

[ the squeeze of those arms makes his heart burgeon with incredible fondness, and cyno inhales deeply, then releases it in a slow, soft sigh. truly, tighnari has a gift, a gift for making people feel comfortable and taken care of, a gift for seeing to others. a dangerous gift, sometimes, for people who are always caring for others sometimes forget that they need care themselves, but.. well, thankfully cyno is usually able to nip that in the bud, as it were. ]

Okay. I'll remember that.

[ their brows touch, and cyno's sunset eyes meet tighnari's deep forest ones. for all that painful nightmares brought them here, this moment is.. gentle. intimate. cyno lifts a hand to smooth the rough pad of his thumb over tighnari's cheek. ]

I don't know what I'd do without you. Really.

[ ...ah. the moment their brows meet, and those warm scarlet red meet his gaze - he finds his heart skip. a fondness swells in his chest, one that softens at the feel of that thumb over his cheek. his ears fold down and lashes flutter to a close when he leans into the touch.

it really is intimate. a moment he would not share with anyone but - cyno has always been special. he's always been the one different factor in his life. he emits a soft hum as if to consider his words. ]

You'd be without the very helpful and constant lecturing of a Forest Watcher.

[ an airy tease, trying to make light of the situation. ]

[ the words well up, locked behind his teeth. how easy it would be to close the distance between them right now, as he has wanted to for so very long, and briefly, cyno's gaze darts down to tighnari's soft, smiling lips, then back up again. ]

Well, that's true. But someone needs to keep me in line, hmm?

[ there's no doubting the fact that cyno has been much better off, with tighnari in his life, looking out for him, making sure he eats and drinks and sleeps properly. well. as properly as he can manage, anyway.

cyno hums, his eyes closing. ]

Stay with me tonight.

[ he isn't ready to let go. ]

[ tighnari's own two-toned eyes remain closed, though he is very much aware how close they are. that the slightest tilt of his head and their noses are likely to touch, and a bit more... no, thoughts like that could not really be played with. lashes do flutter open at that comment, chuckling. ]

Someone definitely needs to. Which I suppose falls onto me.

[ but he does not seem bothered by that. rather, tighnari is always willing to take it upon himself. to ensure the man doesn't do anything foolish- that he takes good care of himself. who else would if not him?

he lowers his head to bury a little into the man's shoulder, cradling him closer. ]

Isn't that what I'm here for? [ his tail curls around further, more reassurances. he isn't going anywhere. ]

[ cyno can't help but marvel at how good it feels - how right it feels - to have tighnari so close like this, and a deep, buried part of himself wonders what it might be like to just.. let it all go. to resign his position, confess to tighnari, and live for himself for awhile. what a lovely fantasy.. he's entertained it many, many times.

when tighnari nuzzles into his shoulder, cyno closes his eyes and allows himself to sink deeply into the mattress. one arm is still around tighnari's tail, keeping it close, but the other soon slips around his middle, scooping him close. ]

Mhm. Good.

[ cyno can allow himself to indulge.. just a little bit. allow himself the pleasure of tighnari's closeness. his even breathing begins to slow. ]

'Night.

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