cashewlater | (no subject)

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[ cyno wouldn't have expected he would be back to school again so soon - not with his career keeping him as busy as it does - yet here he is, and he finds that he enjoys the change of pace.

it's not that he hates being an idol, but.. if he's perfectly honest, it wouldn't have been his ideal lifestyle. cyno does this because he's good at it, because it keeps his family happy and financially stable, because he can do some good with the money it makes, and give back. that's good enough for him. but he's also always wanted to finish out his schooling, to get a degree in something he's passionate about - he can't keep up this career forever, after all. he'll need something to fall back on in a few years.

so here he is, experiencing the college life. going to classes. ignoring parties. living with a roommate.

an.. incredibly cute roommate. cyno doesn't often find himself attracted to people - in fact, it's exceedingly rare - but something about tighnari draws him in. he's easy to talk to, honest and forthright, two things that cyno is incredibly fond of. so many people attempt to get on his good side by sucking up, simpering, being ingenuine.. being around someone like tighnari is incredibly refreshing. already it feels as if cyno has known him his whole life, for how well they get on, how their personalities mesh - yet another thing about tighnari that he can appreciate. cyno doesn't.. get along with people very well. he's too distant, too forward, too, oddly enough, awkward.

but he and tighnari are like cake and cream, they complement one another.

so much so that cyno finds that he wants to spend even more time with him, to be around his energy even more than he already is. they study together often, and perhaps cyno asks for clarification more than he needs to, if it means getting a little more of tighnari's attention. the weather is cold at the moment, as winter break approaches, but the two of them are tucked into their dormitory, warm and comfortable, tighnari spread across his bed surrounded by books, while cyno sits against it, his head rested back, chewing on his lip. he's dressed comfortably, with his hair pulled back. ]

I understand now. Thanks.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ It's not the first time Cyno has done this, yet it makes Tighnari's flutter so hard and fast it's like a hummingbird flits in his chest. On the one hand, he feels utterly foolish for it, for falling victim to such childish behavior as having palpitations over a crush, but on the other, he yearns for that brief touch to last forever, for Cyno to touch him again and again.

It's just a small, affectionate touch - no doubt Cyno offers such signs of friendship to everyone he knows...even if Tighnari is sharp enough to know that Cyno doesn't exactly have a lot of close friends. Better he let himself think that than assign any further meaning to such a gesture. That would be far too foolish.

What does he think he is, the main character in a love story? It would make for good fiction, though.

Swallowing against the sudden tightness in his throat, Tighnari remembers himself and nods. ]

Oh, sure, sounds great. Do you want to order for us while I tidy up?

[ No doubt they'll have their books and notes out again soon, but they might as well straighten up while they can and maintain some semblance of organization. ]

[ is it just him, or does tighnari look a little flustered?

surely cyno is looking too far into it. there's no reason to think that tighnari might harbor the same silly, juvenile feelings that cyno does, he's too focused on his work, too dedicated to his schooling, he'd never.. not with cyno - well, it's irrelevant anyway. cyno's gaze remains locked on tighnari's beautiful eyes a few moments longer before he finally tears himself away. ]

Sure.

[ though he's more than happy to assist with the tidying up, as well!! but first he slips his phone from his pocket and pulls up his doordash app, punching in the address and the order - a supreme, of course, with extra mushrooms. cyno doesn't like them as much as tighnari does, but.. that's neither here nor there. they've ordered enough pizzas together by now that he knows just what tighnari likes. ]

Should be twenty minutes.

[ He's not flustered!! It's definitely all in his head...gods, if Cyno had any idea of his feelings for him, Tighnari would simply cease to exist. How could he ever recover from something like that? He even hid all his merch away under this very bed, hoping it would never be graced by Cyno's gaze. He isn't one to pry, thankfully.

His heart still thundering in his chest, Tighnari sits up and busies himself with collecting and organizing books and papers, making a show of just how not-distracted he is. ]

Oh - thank you. You got the...

[ He peers at Cyno's phone, before chuckling softly. ]

Of course you did. You know just what I like, don't you?

[ Cyno is just that kind of person. Attentive, gentle, thoughtful...how could Tighnari help but be drawn to him? He likes to think that he glimpsed this side of him through his music, before they even met, but perhaps even that is giving him too much credit. ]

[ with a soft smile, cyno pockets his phone again. ]

I do. Even if you're not always easy to please.

[ a light chucke. tighnari, he's learned, can be quite the fussy individual, but that's just one more thing to like about him, as far as cyno is concerned. he knows what he wants, how he likes things, how he wants his life to be, and that's admirable, even if some might find it frustrating. everything about tighnari is admirable.

leaning forward, cyno begins to gather up his own mess, the books and papers scattered around him, piling it all neatly, before he's climbing to his feet and stretching his arms over his head, his croptop offering a fine view of his back and tight abdomen for tighnari to fully enjoy. ]

Is there iced tea?

[ Oh, and enjoy it he does. Tighnari hopes he's being surreptitious enough as he glances at the lines of Cyno's muscles along the length of stomach and back. What he wouldn't give to reach of his fingers and just graze his skin -

But Tighnari doubts he could explain that away without making his admiration obvious, and that's a line he isn't ready to cross yet. He isn't sure if he ever will, which is strange for him, who often has no problem telling anyone what he thinks of them.

This is...a different, special case. A very special case.

Distractedly, he looks away his face hot. ]

Oh, y-yes, there should be a fresh batch in the fridge. I made some just this morning, to aid in our studying. Would you like some?

[ He should get out of this room before he dies from lust. ]

[ cyno isn't usually afraid to be forward about his wants and feelings either, but.. what he has with tighnari is so good already. it feels special. tighnari treats him like a flesh and blood human, like a person, and that is something rare. something precious. still, it's so very hard to resist him.. especially when he's looking sweet and bashful like that. ]

Not yet, no, I was hoping we could have some with the pizza.

[ bashful. why is he looking bashful? tighnari's face looks warm. it makes cyno's heart skip a beat, but that doesn't stop him from sitting at the edge of the bed anyway, leaning back on one hand and looking up into tighnari's eyes. ]

Are you feeling all right?

[ with his free hand, he presses his knuckles to tighnari's brow, his golden bangles jingling, the ankh ring on his index finger cool against tighnari's skin. ]

[ He's really trying to kill him, isn't he. Cyno must already know, right?

But, no, he couldn't. Cyno is not so good at deception, and if he had realized the truth of Tighnari's feelings, Tighnari would certainly know. A muffled sound slips from him as he straightens up, scrambling off the bed and putting some space between himself and Cyno.

Sometimes it's so easy to be Cyno's roommate, to be his close friend and confidant, and then something like this happens and Tighnari could jump out the window for how foolish and juvenile he feels. ]

Fine! I'm fine. Just a bit...dehydrated, perhaps. I think I'll go pour myself some tea now.

[ The perfect excuse! He heads through the doorway without another word. ]

[ oh..

he definitely did or said something wrong. tighnari's behavior is clear, and cyno feels his face heat up with embarrassment, his eyes darting away. he should've known better than to be so easily affectionate, so openly touchy, he knows how much tighnari hates it when people get overly tactile with him without his permission. ]

Oh. Sure.

[ rubbing at the back of his neck, cyno clears his throat and sits forward again, watching tighnari disappear into the small kitchenette, and having no idea what to do with himself, or his hands. for all cyno is used to dealing with people, he's so much more awkward than might be expected, especially with people he's closer with, people he doesn't need to hold at arms' length. after a moment, he stands, staying idly in place for a few moments as he debates - maybe he should just sit back down, and not say anything more.

after several excruciating seconds, cyno finally strides forward to stand in the doorway, his hands stuffed into his pockets, shoulders hunched. ]

Um.. sorry. I didn't mean to make things weird.

[ For a moment, he thinks he might've smoothed things over quickly enough that Cyno didn't notice his abrupt departure, that they can just sidestep this little encounter like others that have come before it. Encounters where touches or glances linger perhaps a moment longer than they should, and while Tighnari isn't necessarily an aloof sort of person, he's not overly affectionate, either. Surely Cyno has noticed that, while Tighnari has noticed that Cyno doesn't give out his affections freely, either. Not nearly as much as you might expect of an idol.

And yet he can't bring himself to think that it means anything...more. That would just be too preposterous, too much like a story or a movie. So he just brushes them aside for now, because it's easier, safer. It's unlike him to feel or act this way, to not face things pragmatically, but he's never been in a situation like this before.

Of course, he couldn't get away that easily, nor does he want to leave Cyno thinking he did anything wrong when it was Tighnari getting distracted by his touch and his looks. Shutting the fridge, Tighnari turns to face him, crossing over without a second of hesitation with a gentle look on his face. ]

No, no, you didn't do anything wrong. I think I'm just feeling a little stir crazy from all the studying. Mind if I open the window for a bit?

[ Spending hours in the same room with Cyno would make anyone a little warm and bothered, wouldn't it? ]

[ cyno trusts tighnari fully, but he can't help but feel that he isn't telling the whole truth, that there's something he's leaving out here, but.. if he says that everything is fine, then it must be fine. he'll drop it, even if something is still niggling at the back of his mind. chewing his lower lip, he frees one hand to rub at the back of his neck again, and nods. ]

All right.. if you're sure.

[ cyno glances over his shoulder toward the window, and shrugs. ]

Yeah, okay. You won't get cold?

[ it's quite brisk out, after all, as winter approaches, but tighnari seemed to be far less tolerant of the heat than he is of cold, so.. it's probably fine. cyno turns, and moves toward the window to tug it open, since he doesn't have his hands full of iced tea. ]

I'll close it again in a minute. Just a moment will do. Thank you.

[ Gods, but he aches to tell him the truth...of course he does, and he's come close so many times. He came close just a few minutes ago, to blurting it out, nearly unable to keep it contained any longer. The words wait on his tongue, for a perfect moment that he doesn't expect to ever just come naturally. And if he were to bring it up otherwise -

Cyno could be with anyone in the world that he wanted. Any man or woman would throw themselves at him without a second thought. Why in the world would Cyno ever pick him?

Tamping down those thoughts, Tighnari pours himself that glass of tea at last, before returning the pitcher to the fridge. ]

Ah...that hits the spot, if I do say so myself.

[ cyno still feels a little awkward, but.. it's beginning to pass. chilly wind gusts into the room, taking some of the heat from cyno's face, and he exhales.

it's all so stupid, so complicated, so uncomfortable. cyno is a straightforward person, he's honest about his feelings, but he's also never really had a friend like tighnari, either. someone who treats him normally. he's so afraid to ruin that by coming clean, even if he wants to, even if his heart feels fit to burst in his chest. distracted, cyno leans back against the windowsill, allowing the cool wind to blow over him; he doesn't mind the cold. ]

Feeling better?

[ his eyes follow tighnari, until there's a knock at the door, and cyno pushes off of the sill to retrieve the pizza, calling over his shoulder: ]

Maybe we should just watch a movie tonight.

[ something more relaxing than cramming. ]

[ He does feel better, though whether that's from the cool air or simply some time for the tension beneath his chest to diffuse, he can't say for sure. If only he knew that they were both one another's exception...

Well, he'll need to address it someday. Tighnari is certain of that. He isn't getting over his crush like he expected he would at first - his feelings have developed way too deep. But not right now. Not tonight, when they need their faculties to focus on studying for finals.

Or for watching movies, as they case may be. His smile more relaxed than before, Tighnari begins to prepare some plates, napkins and cups for them, pouring two glasses of tea this time. ]

Oh? are you sure? I don't mind pushing through a bit longer if you need it.

[ He would do anything Cyno asked, really. He is the one person Tighnari could say that about. ]

[ with the pizza in hand, cyno moves to the small living area and sets the box down onto the coffee table, opening it up in a plume of hot steam, before he drops heavily onto the sofa.

at least some of the tension from his misstep seems to have eased - he'll have to be more careful with himself, more aware of his actions. it's difficult, when cyno is used to acting on his impulses and following his heart, but tighnari is so.. good, so special. he can't ruin this. he can't lose him. it's a little frightening, how intense his feelings have become over the course of a few months.. but he embraces it nevertheless. it feels good, to be so close to someone, to have such warm, genuine feelings, even if they aren't returned. he can still cradle them in his heart. ]

I should be fine. I think we could use the break.

[ studying together, so closely.. it's bound to bring up that same tension again, and cyno wants the atmosphere to remain relaxed and cool. they crammed hard today anyway, he shouldn't need any extra time. tomorrow, they can get back to their regularly scheduled program.

sitting back on the sofa, he snags the remote and flicks the television on. ]

What would you like to watch?

[ That's the question, isn't it? Tighnari taps a finger to his chin as he eases himself onto the couch next to Cyno, his tail curled around his side and his ears relaxing back. ]

Hmm...something mindless, if our aim is to get our mind off of studying. Maybe an action movie, or a holiday movie. It is that time of year...

[ It is not too late for them to watch Elf!! Even if it is too late in real life. :(

While Cyno flips through the movies, Tighnari pulls a few slices of pizza out of the box for them and sets Cyno's plate and glass down next to him. ]

[ slowly but surely, things seem to reset back to equilibrium. they have pizza and iced tea, they're comfortable together on the sofa, and cyno can breathe again.

cyno nods, and while tighnari fills their plates he flicks through the channel menu, surely there's something to be found that will suit them. elf it is!! it's cyno's kind of absurd humor, to be sure..

and we can timeskip, because they're just going to be sitting beside one another on the couch, probably trying to act cool and not like they want to hold hands, but cyno grows more comfortable as the movie rolls on, sinking more deeply into the couch with his legs stretched out ahead of him, his head rested back, both arms flung languidly over the back.

he doesn't laugh out loud at any of the jokes, but he sure does chuckle and smile, which is pretty emotive, for cyno. ]

[ It is pretty emotive for Cyno!! Tighnari is so proud of him. He's come out of his shell so much since they first met, even if the terrible jokes have never changed. Anyway, yes, Tighnari also relaxes further as they watch the movie and eat pizza, oozing back near Cyno's side, resisting the urge to curl right up against him. It's just cool enough with the late autumn air, but he can't even entertain the possibility. Especially not tonight, when things were already a little tense earlier.

By the time the credits roll, even Tighnari feels warm and fuzzy with Christmas cheer, and the pizza box is empty, as are their glasses of tea. All in all, a successful movie night.

Turning over on his side, Tighnari props his head up on his palm, gazing at Cyno sleepily. ]

Well? Are you feeling sufficiently relaxed?

[ cyno takes a deep, satisfying breath, his weight sagging back against the cushions before tighnari turns back to him, his eyelids low and sleepy, his expression so soft that it makes cyno's heart twist behind his ribs. little does he know that his own expression is much the same, all soft around the edges, his molten eyes heavily lidded as he meets tighnari's tender gaze. ]

Yeah. I think so.

[ he murmurs, pale hair tumbling into his eyes, a gentle smile slanting his mouth. it's so tempting to touch him, to reach out and drag his thumb across tighnari's cheek, and they're so damnably close that it would be so, so easy to dip his head down and capture those soft, pouting lips -

cyno's face flushes hot. ]

You sleepy?

[ Cyno isn't the only one thinking along those lines. Tighnari hadn't realized just how close they had moved to one another during the movie, but now that it's over and he has turned to face him, it's all he can think about. His knee just barely touches Cyno's thigh, and if he lifts his fingers just a little, he would be able to just graze the inside of Cyno's wrists -

Dangerous thoughts to be having when he is already feeling sleepy and comfortable. Daydreams might just melt into his suggestible mind a bit too much. ]

Hm?

[ He's been staring into Cyno's eyes for far too long without looking away. ]

Oh. A bit. I don't think I'll be rushing off to bed, though. I'll throw off my schedule too much. You?

Mm. Just a little.

[ tighnari looks so wonderfully gentle for him, his abrasive edges all softened down, and cyno can't help but be a little bit.. proud, to know him. to have wriggled his way past tighnari's spiky defenses to get to know the warm heart beneath. tighnari is strong and fierce, but he's also kind, a good person beneath his strict demeanor. how was cyno expected not to fall for him?

he swallows thickly, his gaze flicking over tighnari's eyes, down to his mouth, lingering there for a few moments before moving upward again. they shouldn't be this close, not after that near miss earlier, when cyno almost gave himself away and shattered the idyllic warmth of their relationship. ]

I don't want to sleep yet.

[ There's a moment where Tighnari could swear Cyno is looking down at his lips, and Tighnari's heart thunders suddenly against his throat, his imagination running wild in that singular moment, with how close they are, how...meaningful that look seems to be. But it can't be as meaningful as Tighnari wants it to be. That's just foolish, and he hates to feel a fool. He needs to get his head on straight, and stop losing himself in daydreams about what it would be like to lean in and press his mouth to Cyno's.

But what a good dream it is... ]

Me neither.

[ Tighnari murmurs, momentarily preoccupied with deciding where to put his hands, and eventually setting one against his stomach, the other curled between them. ]

I enjoy my time with you too much to sleep.

[ Cyno already knows this, Tighnari has said as much before, but when they're like this, in close quarters occupying one another's intimate space, there's is certainly an extra meaning attached.

Whether or not Tighnari even intends it that way, or Cyno picks up on it is another story. ]

[ this is like torture.

cyno's throat bobs as he swallows, his face flushing even warmer still, though he hopes his darker complexion hides it well enough that tighnari won't see the heat that floods his cheeks and ears and neck. why did he put his hair up? it would hide so much more if it were down. chewing on his lower lip, his snakebite studs flash in the light. ]

.. so do I.

[ he starts, then stammers a little. ]

E-enjoy my time with you, I mean.

[ he's so bad at this. cyno's been approached by hundreds of thirsty fans before, but he's never really thought much of it, never wanted any of them, because he didn't know them. so he has no idea what to do here, no way of knowing for sure whether or not tighnari feels the same way that he does. he can't possibly, can he? tighnari is way out of his league, he's so smart and strong and sharp, so fearless and beautiful..

between them, cyno's pinky brushes against tighnari's, gently linking them. ]

I'm.. really glad we met.

[ Taken as he is by the depth of Cyno's golden eyes, Tighnari doesn't realize at first when Cyno links their pinkies together, even if the contact alone is enough to rattle his heart further. That can't mean...no, that's foolish.

But how long can he make these excuses to himself? ]

Me, too.

[ His tail continues to thump behind him against the couch, slow and lazy, a purr low in his throat. He is more warm and comfortable than he can recall being for a long, long time. What more could he ask for than to be where he is right now, in this moment? It's wonderful. Perfect.

Cyno is wonderful and perfect. Every bit the man Tighnari idolized him for being, and so, so much more. ]

I always knew you were special, even before we met.

[ it's such a nice moment, warm and welcoming, the two of them close and comfortable on the sofa, so close that cyno can smell tighnari's skin. so close that he can see the beautiful greens and browns in his eyes.

maybe it's worth the risk. maybe he'll just.. lean forward, close the small distance between them, and learn for himself just how tighnari's mouth tastes, how his lips feel. he wants to know so badly. he wants to know how his kiss feels, he wants to know how soft his skin and fur are, he wants to know what his skin tastes like -

but then he stops, and blinks. ]

Before we met?

[ he looks quizzical, before he hums softly. ]

Well.. I suppose you must've known who I was.

[ What if he did just that? Cyno isn't the only one thinking about it - but then Tighnari realizes he's slipped up, and immediately, his face flushes red, his ears standing up straight and his tail laying flat. Oh. Oh no...

His reaction has probably given him away far more than anything he said did. ]

Ah - y-yes, I...I did. How could I not?

[ It's definitely not that he was an obsessive fanboy with a Cyno shrine before they met!!! His face is positively radiating heat, and he can almost feel the way that Cyno is about to misinterpret his reaction. But what else can he say?

If he tells him the truth, will he just be completely weirded out? ]

[ cyno does not always pick up on verbal cues, but he certainly reads physical ones very well - he sees the way tighnari's fair skin flushes, how his ears straighten out, how his eyes widen just so. was this.. supposed to be some secret? why? cyno is famous.

still, he's surprised that tighnari would know him nonetheless. many people don't, if they don't follow idol culture, but he supposes that tighnari might've seen his face on a billboard somewhere, and remembered it. ]

You sound nervous.

[ he frowns, a crease in his brow. ]

I hope you know you don't ever need to feel that way, around me.

[ He is nervous, because they have stumbled into something that Tighnari was wholly unprepared to talk to Cyno about. Something that even if his feelings for him came to light, he never planned to tell him. Maybe years and years later, when they could look back and laugh at it, sure, but Tighnari still has the makings of his Cyno shrine beneath the very bed he sleeps on in this apartment. If Cyno were to know what a fanboy he is, especially after what a fuss Tighnari had first made about being uninterested in idol culture...

Well, even his own silliness aside, he would feel dishonest about it. He already does. He doesn't like the idea of keeping anything from Cyno, but even less he likes the idea of making him uncomfortable or weirding him out. It's the lesser of two evils, in this case.

Tighnari swallows against a dry throat. ]

I-I know. You're just...such a big deal. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to know you like I do.

[ Millions would kill to be in his position, yet Tighnari is the one privileged enough to be here with Cyno tonight. Does he deserve it? He doesn't feel like it, not right now. ]

[ i know, tighnari says, but he's still stammering, still sounding nervous. cyno isn't unused to this - his fans are almost always nervous around him, never knowing how to talk to him, but gods, he doesn't want that from tighnari. they're friends. they're close. cyno has so few people he can really call a friend, he doesn't want to lose this connection just because he's an idol.

thoughtlessly, cyno opens his hand and closes it over tighnari's, squeezing gently. ]

Please.. I'm not anything special. I'm just a person, like you. I'm not a big deal.

[ fame and fortune.. cyno never really asked for it, he's just doing what he likes, and sharing it with others, using it to try to make the world a better place, and support the people he cares about. ]

You don't need to treat me any differently. I just want to be around you.

[ there's something almost like.. pleading, in his voice. ]

[ He's so preoccupied with Cyno's worries and distress, that Tighnari doesn't even notice his hand closing over his own. ]

Of course. I would never not want you to be with me.

[ The same aching kind of pleading resounds in Tighnari's voice. He wouldn't give up what he has with Cyno for anything in the world, which is what makes navigating his feelings...difficult. But when Cyno is telling him the same thing, what does he have to be afraid of? Why should he hold back from being entirely open and honest with him?

His heart already belongs to Cyno. His hand is already clinging to his own. Has he just been a fool this whole time, not seeing what is right in front of him? Blinded by infatuation from the truth?

Turning his hand within Cyno's, he slots their fingers together, squeezing tight. ]

I...have something to show you.

[ tighnari's hand turns, weaving their fingers together, and cyno feels his face grow warm again. tighnari's palms and fingers are so soft, so warm.. ]

Hmm?

[ he was distracted, for a moment, by the feel of tighnari's hand in his, by the look in his beautiful eyes that makes cyno's chest feel tight. it's only been a few months, but.. cyno can't help but feel like he's known tighnari all his life, as if he's loved him before, been beside him before. it's a foolish, juvenile feeling, he thinks, but he can't help it.

squeezing tighnari's fingers in return, cyno tilts his head like a curious dog. ]

What do you need to show me?

[ Cyno isn't alone in that. Tighnari isn't one to believe in fate or destiny, but he can't shake the feeling that there is something...meant in all of this. He doesn't know what it is, but perhaps what drew him to Cyno before they met wasn't something so simple as being his fan.

Or maybe he just likes the sound of that better. Whatever the case, Tighnari is rising from the couch, his fingers still threaded through Cyno's, as he tugs him along to urge him to get up and follow him. ]

Come on then, you layabout. You'll see soon enough.

[ He swallows thickly - does he look as nervous as he feels? ]

[ cyno has absolutely no idea what to expect, here.

but he follows nonetheless, like an obedient puppy, their fingers still woven together. it feels.. nice, very nice, to be holding tighnari's hand, and he feels a bit silly for how it affects him. cyno is a grown man, he shouldn't be getting flustered over something so simple as holding hands. but tighnari simply has this effect on him. ]

I'm coming, I'm coming.

[ he follows along, but.. where even are they going?? ]

[ Whoa Cyno, calm down there, don't come just yet!!!

But yes Tighnari is leading him towards their shared bedroom, swallowing against a lump of nerves in his throat. He leads Cyno towards his bed...and then glances back at him, meeting his gaze before letting go of his hand and crouching down. ]

Alright. If this colors your view of me, I understand, but I didn't know how to tell you when we first met.

[ But now...he's ready to come clean.

Reaching beneath his bed, Tighnari pulls out a sizeable box, and lifts the lid off. It is full of Cyno memorabilia and merchandise, albums and trading cards and t-shirts. There's even merch from early tours and appearances - it's clear that this is not a collection that was started recently. ]

[ wow!! he is being such a GENTLEMAN.

cyno has absolutely no idea what's coming. what in the world could tighnari possibly be hiding under his bed that would change cyno's opinion of him? a dead body?? but no, it's a small box. a box full of - ]

Oh.

[ cyno kneels, reaching one hand out to begin fishing through the marchandise, his brows high.. but then he's smiling, soft and easy, a chuckle in his throat. ]

You were a fan?

[ Ah, that's it, it's all over, this is the end. That little "oh" that Cyno utters has Tighnari's blood running cold, and perhaps looking more vulnerable than he ever has before around his roommate, he glances up at Cyno with a wide-eyed look.

He's...smiling?? And laughing??? ]

I think "fan" might be underselling it quite a bit, but...yes. I was.

[ He's going to go die under a rock now, goodbye. ]

[ tighnari's embarrassment is clear. cyno dips his head to catch his eyes, one knuckle beneath tighnari's chin to lift it, just a little. ]

Hey. It's okay.

[ cyno's smile is gentle, easy. ]

You worry too much, you know that? It's cute. I can sign some of these, if you want, unless you don't consider yourself a fan anymore.

[ after meeting your idols in person, things sometimes change, after all.. ]

[ He isn't sure what makes his cheeks burn more - Cyno offering to sign his pile of merch, or the graze of his fingers under his chin.

(It's definitely his fingers under his chin.) ]

N-no, you don't - I mean, I still do, but you don't --

[ He sighs sharply, growing impatient with himself. ]

Sorry. After I met you, I realized I didn't need to focus on collecting anymore, because the time I spent with you was more valuable than any old thing in this box.

[ His tone has grown dangerously fond, his eyes shining as he looks at Cyno with nothing but adoration. ]

[ tighnari looks flushed, and cyno assumes he must be embarrassed, showing off his merch collection like this - is that a plushie? that's definitely not officially licensed - but the way tighnari is looking at him.. it's enough to make cyno's stomach twist and flip.

it's enough to make him rethink what he knows about tighnari, and their relationship. if he's been a fan this entire time.. ]

Tighnari, I -

[ cyno's breath rushes, and he presses his lips firmly together, his knuckles still lingering beneath tighnari's chin. gods, he wants to kiss him - but would it be taking advantage of him? cyno's always been careful to never get too close with fans, not because he doesn't appreciate them, but because he thinks it would be unfair, that he'd be, even inadvertently, using his status for pleasure. it's never felt right. but he and tighnari have known one another for months now - it's.. it's different, isn't it? is it?

it's got to be. he wants so badly for it to be. before he knows it, cyno is leaning close, pressing their mouths together, slipping his fingers into tighnari's dark hair. ]

[ It's...strange. How Tighnari can see it as it's happening, as if from an outside view, as Cyno moves closer, and closer, and closer still, his fingers slipping into his hair, his gaze darting down to his mouth. He knows what's about to happen, there's only one thing that could happen now, and yet...he finds himself utterly surprised. Taken aback, as the reality of it hits him with the gentle pressure of Cyno's lips. Cyno is kissing him. Cyno. His idol, his roommate, his dearest friend. Cyno, who has held his heart far longer than he could ever possibly know.

Cyno, who he has loved since that first awkward joke on the day he moved in.

A soft sound moves between their mouths, and Tighnari responds in kind, kissing him back, arms winding around his shoulders, unwilling to relinquish this closeness now that it has finally been attained. It feels like they've been building to this the whole time, since the moment they met, but especially tonight, with those precious, warm moments earlier. He thinks again of the way Cyno's stomach had looked when he stretched, and his face flushes with heat.

He should break off the kiss, they should talk about this...about what this is, but he doesn't want to. Not yet. ]

Edited 2023-01-14 18:22 (UTC)

[ perhaps they should talk about this, and they will, he thinks, in time, but first..

.. first he wants this, he wants to kiss tighnari, to learn how he tastes, how his lips feel, how warm they must be, how warm they are. tighnari's arms slip around his shoulders, and cyno leans forward, tilting his head to slot their mouths together a little more precisely, and so he can slide his arms around tighnari's waist, pulling him a little bit closer. cyno's fingertips tingle with the urge to haul tighnari right into his lap, but that would be too much, too fast - even this feels overwhelming. cyno has never kissed someone that he's had such strong feelings for, before.

and he hadn't been brave enough to kiss tighnari before this. or rather, he'd wanted to be respectful. perhaps too respectful, perhaps he should have done this long ago.

but better late than never, and this moment feels right. it feels good. cyno breathes a low sound into the kiss, one hand sliding up the back of tighnari's sweater to slip into his hair, fingers splayed to cradle his head. gods, he's wanted this for so long. cyno all but aches for him. when the kiss breaks, he sucks in a breath, nudging their noses together. ]

'Nari..

[ To say that it takes his breath away would be a massive understatement. How many times has he, Tighnari, pragmatic and reasonable and responsible, daydreamed about this very thing? About Cyno sweeping him up into his arms, and kissing him intently - not a simple peck, but a warm, open-mouthed kiss that makes his heart race in his chest. Cyno's arms are around him, and his arms are full of Cyno. He is everything, all around him, the moon to his sun.

When Cyno breaks off the kiss, Tighnari chases his lips for but a moment, his face flushing with heat, even as they share the same lingering breath to refill their gasping lungs. ]

Cyno, I...

[ A soft laugh bubbles up past his lips. He feels giddy, and joyfully young. ]

I can't tell you how long I've wanted you to do that.

[ that sweet, soft laugh buoys cyno's heart, and he finds himself smiling despite himself, warm and easy as he nudges their noses affectionately together again. ]

Oh?

[ him and thousands of other fans, he supposes, but.. tighnari is different, tighnari knows him, at least.. cyno thinks he does. uncertainty sits like a cold pit in his stomach, dragging the moment down, and cyno presses their foreheads together. ]

Tighnari, I.. I really like you.

[ that much is obvious, by now, given the tingle still on his lips, and the way his hands move now down tighnari's arms, slow and measured. ]

And I just.. I want you to like me for the right reasons. Because you know who I am, because I'm a person, not an idea.

[ nothing frightens him more than that deep, dark feeling of being alone in a crowd. so many people might want to take tighnari's place right now, but cyno - he just wants to be close to someone real, someone who likes him because of the way he has to trim his nails fastidiously, someone who likes him because he talks in his sleep and likes his pizza cold, someone who appreciates him because they know him, as a person, not as a far off, unreachable ideal. and as cute as it is that tighnari is.. was? a fan, it opens up a well of insecurity beneath his feet. ]

I want you to like me because I'm.. me.

Oh, you sweet fool. You don’t need to worry about that.

[ Though Tighnari is hardly surprised that he is. Cyno is someone who has far fewer personal connections than he deserves, and for how aloof he can be, he is warm, and gentle, and has so much love in his heart to share. He deserves so much more, whether or not he would want it.

But Tighnari knows his feelings are genuine, because he feels now, burning in his breast, is so unlike what he used to feel when listening to his music or looking at his picture. When he was an idea, and not Cyno, his Cyno.

His fingers snag Cyno’s when they reach his, a teasing but sweet smile on his lips. ]

You being an idol didn’t win me over. It was the awkward joke you told on the first day you moved in.

[ you don't need to worry about that.

those words lighten a heavy burden in cyno's heart, and he releases a breath he had hardly realized he had been holding. most might scoff at the idea that a man of so much privilege would have hardships - and they might be right to, he does have a lot of privilege - but nevertheless, cyno is.. lonely. he has been, for a long time. his work keeps him so busy, and he's constantly surrounded by people, but do any of them really know him? do any of them care about anything beyond what he can do for them?

it's never bothered him, before. cyno enjoys what he does. but.. meeting tighnari has changed so very much. it's made him realize and notice the things he's never had, it's made him ache for the companionship he's never felt. when those warm fingers snag his own, cyno is quick to thread their fingers together, a soft chuckle on his lips as he slowly drags their noses alongside one another. ]

.. I want to kiss you again.

[ Hearing Cyno say that, words that Tighnari has ached to hear him say for so long, but feared he was too foolish for wanting to hear them - it makes a warm smile bloom on Tighnari’s face, his lips curling against the hollow of Cyno’s cheek as he inhales the scent of his skin. It’s become so familiar now… ]

Not if I kiss you first.

[ Gods, what a foolish thing to say, but he’s never been happier to be a fool, pressing his mouth again to Cyno’s, his fingers snagging in the front of his hoodie, tilting his head so their mouths slot together. He can’t help but reflect in the back of his mind just how perfectly their mouths fit together, which also makes him feel foolish, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He parts his lips, coaxing Cyno’s open in turn, deepening the kiss. ]

[ cyno wouldn't call it a foolish thing to say, but it's certainly silly enough to make him crack a smile before their lips meet again.

it's even better, the second time. instantly, a shiver shoots down cyno's spine, and he groans, soft and quiet against tighnari's mouth, especially once he feels those soft lips part, drawing a rough exhale from cyno, the kiss pushing deeper. cyno obeys without question, his mouth opening against tighnari's, his tongue already questing, dipping into tighnari's mouth and gods, he tastes so good, and the slippery texture of his mouth lights a primal fire in cyno's belly.

thoughtlessly, his hands at tighnari's sides slip around to his back, bunching in his sweater and tugging, pulling him nearer, all but into cyno's lap, eager to have him nearer, to feel him close, warm and solid and real. it would be a lie to say that cyno hasn't though of this before, a hundred times before, imagining what tighnari's mouth would taste like, how warm his body would feel against cyno's own.. but his thoughts can hold no comparison to the real thing. ]

'Nari..

[ he murmurs, his left hand slipping up into that dark hair, thumbing at the base of one soft, sensitive ear. ]

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